Memories of the PalaceCh18 - How Can I Protect You?

12 Years Ago

Imperial City w4cN9o

Outside the Cold Palace

Li Changyu – 10, Jin Xiyan – 12

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

“Where are you taking me, Changyu?” whispered Jin Xiyan.

He followed Li Changyu like a shadow, practically pressed against him as they crept through the night. The moon was full and bright which illuminated their path, but they had to sneak along the shadows to avoid being seen. Sneaking out at night right after a meal without permission or any adult supervision was bound to get Jin Xiyan in trouble, but if Li Changyu was there, he was sure that he was in good hands. VCNtKz

“Shh!” The boy in question shushed at him with a glare over his shoulder. “Do you want us to get caught?”

Li Changyu’s eyebrows rose and he grabbed Jin Xiyan by the collar and yanked him down. They squatted beside a hedge and Li Changyu covered Jin Xiyan’s mouth with his hand. Jin Xiyan froze at the contact, his lips pressed against Li Changyu’s rough palm should have disgusted him because one couldn’t be sure just what Li Changyu touched, but the gesture felt strangely…intimate. A hot flush bloomed across his cheeks and his heart beat rang in his head in a steady but firm ba-dump, ba-dump. Li Changyu was oblivious to his discomfort and peered through the leaves as the clank of armor drew near.

“Did you get leave to visit your sick Ma?” One guard asked the other as they passed.

“Yeah, I did. The Grand Empress Dowager even gifted some red ginseng to give to her!” There was a sound like a clap. “Her Highness sure is amazing. I should ask my sister to embroider something as thanks.”

YXz6dl

“With you away it means I am partnered with Tao Taiyang.” The first guard groaned and another followed it.

“I don’t envy you. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, it’s just that he’s so annoying and…”

Their voices drifted away and both boys sighed in relief. Li Changyu dropped his hand and grinned at him. Even in the dim light, Jin Xiyan could see the mischief twinkle in his eyes, “That was a close one.” cdHo3r

His tongue was too tied up to speak so all he could do was nod. Li Changyu took Jin Xiyan’s hand in his and popped up to stand, pulling Jin Xiyan along with. Li Changyu walked confidently along winding paths which were all unfamiliar to Jin Xiyan. Admittedly, Li Changyu probably knew the Imperial City’s grounds better than him.

They finally came to a stop at a locked gate with a worn out, faded blue sign that had some of the characters smudged. Jin Xiyan squinted and tried his best to make out what it said.

“Palace of…” he whispered out loud, “wise…guidance?”

Realization slammed into him like a ton of bricks. He whirled to face Li Changyu who stood with his hands on his hips and a smug grin plastered over his face. azM3uk

“You brought me to the Cold Palace?!”

This was the palace that Emperors throughout the ages would send their Wives to be severely punished. Once there, they were essentially outcasts to fend for themselves in what amounted to a cage in the form of a mansion.

“Mhm! It’s the last place anyone would think to look for us.” Li Changyu tapped his own temple. “Aren’t I a genius?”

You are certainly something… Jin Xiyan’s eyes strayed back to the ominous looking gate and sign and shuddered. pDvAxz

“What…what if someone’s in there?”

“Oh, I’ve been there loads of times. No one has been sent there. Unless someone was sent there today…I will go check!”

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Li Changyu bent his knee to prepare for a jump but Jin Xiyan grabbed him by the back of his martial uniform shirt. “Wait!”

“What’s wrong?” Li Changyu blinked at him. 5rNfXA

Jin Xiyan bit his lower lip and dropped his voice down to a nervous whisper, “What…what if there’s ghosts in there?”

Li Changyu blinked at him a second time before laughter burst past his lips. He slapped Jin Xiyan’s arm with a surprising amount of force from a kid who was a tiny bit shorter than him. He winced and suppressed saying ow but rubbed his arm.

“Are you the Crown Prince or not? Why do you need to be afraid of some ghosts?” Li Changyu bent back down and turned his head to look at him. He stuck his tongue out at him and winked. “Don’t worry you big baby, I’ll protect you.”

Li Changyu lept up and over the wall before Jin Xiyan could shoot back with something clever. His cheeks burned once again at losing face with Li Changyu, but his heart proceeded to pound at Li Changyu’s promise of protecting him. He pulled his hand away from his sore arm and stared down at his open palm. Frowning, he wondered if he was strong enough to ever be the one protecting Li Changyu. As an alpha, he was supposed to be the one that protected people, and as an Emperor, he’d eventually be expected to care for his subjects. rf8EDu

Jin Xiyan closed his fist with a sigh and shut his eyes. A loud creak jolted him, his skeleton practically leaping out of his skin at how high he jumped. He jerked his head around and sighed in relief when it was only Li Changyu pushing open the doors of the dilapidated gate. He opened it just enough for them to squeeze through.

“Come on,” Li Changyu motioned with his arm sticking through the small gap. He disappeared as Jin Xiyan approached and wiggled his way between the heavy pieces of wood.

Once he was through, they both worked together to shut the gate which groaned under their effort. It was eerily quiet after the gate snapped shut, and there weren’t even the sounds of crickets amongst the tall and neglected yard.

Li Changyu wrapped his fingers around Jin Xiyan’s wrist and tugged hard. “Let me show you what I found!” 9rAnaM

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Jin Xiyan let himself be dragged along the outside of the mansion. They passed a small courtyard with weeds and a toppled over statue until they ended at the edge of a pond. There was a large, dead willow tree that stretched it’s bare branches out over the pond.

It must have been pretty before it became the Cold Palace, he thought to himself. Another tug from Li Changyu turned Jin Xiyan’s attention back to him.

“Look!” Li Changyu bounced in place and pointed across the pond. Jin Xiyan squinted, and though it wasn’t a very large pond and he could see the other side, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be seeing.

“What’s over there?” He asked. f92rAX

Li Changyu blew out a breath and rolled his eyes, “This is our pond, silly! That’s the side we always go on to skip rocks. Don’t you see the plum blossom trees?”

Looking back, he did in fact see the pink petals. Jin Xiyan raised his eyebrows in surprise, “Huh…”

He never imagined that the pond they liked to skip rocks in and pick lotus pods from would be connected to the Cold Palace. Tilting his head, he asked Li Changyu, “You wanted to skip rocks here?”

“Nope, I want to do something even better!” Li Changyu’s grin looked as satisfied as a cat that caught a bird and he pulled out a knife from his boot. 0PW7wx

Jin Xiyan jerked back, “What are you doing with a knife?!”

Li Changyu gave him a blank stare and held up the blade, “I carry a sword during the day and you’re wondering why I have a knife?”

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It was his turn to roll his eyes, “I mean right now what are you doing with a knife?”

“I think it’s time for us to become…” Li Changyu’s eyes danced and he jumped in place, spreading his arms out high. “Sworn Brothers!” dYxHO5

“…Huh?”

Li Changyu motioned him over as he walked over to the willow tree. He plopped down at the base of it and stabbed the knife into the dirt. While Li Changyu rummaged inside the lapel of his robe, Jin Xiyan moved to sit down beside him

“Now where did I…ah!” Li Changyu pulled a small jar of alcohol from inside his robe and held it up triumphantly. He grinned at Jin Xiyan and waggled the bottle at him. “I stole this from Shizun’s room. It’s a little bit of some fancy wine from the Western Kingdom.”

“What did you steal that for?” u3adZU

Because we are going to be sworn Brothers. You have to exchange cups of alcohol! We are going to do that and carve our names on this tree.”

Li Changyu’s words reminded him of something his half-sister said about her wedding. Emperor Father arranged for her to marry an older minister of the court and she just came back for a visit after being away for a month. She spoke of how they exchanged cups of wine and braided each other’s hair, which she carried in her small satchel at her waist. Though he was an older man, he was apparently kind, and his sister was happy.

That all too familiar sensation of his pulse racing and heat flooding his cheeks came back. Was it stupid that Li Changyu could ellicit such a reaction from him? Yes. But he couldn’t help it. As much as Li Changyu could annoy him, he couldn’t resist the pull of his smile and laugh. Li Changyu treated him like no one else did in the Palace, which he was thankful for.

What possessed him to ask, he wouldn’t know, but his mouth moved before his brain could catch up. F56zOJ

“Um…Li Changyu, what do you think of marriage?”

“Marriage?” Li Changyu tilted his head so far to the side it was almost at ninety degrees. His eyebrows pinched together and his nose scrunched up. “What about marriage?”

“Uh-um…” He already started this conversation, so there was no escaping it now. “I mean…have you thought of what kind of person you would marry?”

Li Changyu straightened and leaned back against the tree trunk. He rolled the wine jar in between his hands as he spoke. “Hmm…Papa says I don’t have to think about marriage for another four years.” 3xIpXM

“Did your Father, um, arrange for anyone?”

“Nuh-uh,” Li Changyu shook his head then rested his head back, “Papa says I can marry or not marry. But a lot of the trainees in the barracks ask me to marry them.”

That soured Jin Xiyan’s stomach immediately. One of his hands curled up into a tight fist and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from saying something rude. “A…a lot of them?”

“Yeah, even Ping-Shixiong asked me if I wanted to marry him when we grew up.” vt2KxT

A shadow cast over his expression and he flatly asked, “And what did you say?”

“Hm? I said nothing.” Li Changyu glanced over at him with an innocent blink. “I kicked him in the nuts instead.”

Chrysanthemum Garden.

Jin Xiyan’s entire body went slack with relief.

“Besides,” Li Changyu continued, “I don’t even know if I wanna get married. I want to beat up bad guys!” W3juZC

Li Changyu sat up straighter and punched the air with a fist, his grin big enough to expose his teeth like an animal.

“Just punch them right in the face to make them regret the day they chose to mess with Dashun and your Dynasty!”

Jin Xiyan’s heart softened just a tiny bit as he was touched by Li Changyu’s steadfast conviction. He smiled to himself and then remembered what they were here to do. Jin Xiyan stared at the wine jug in Li Changyu’s hand before snatching it from him. Li Changyu flinched at the sudden grab but didn’t complain.

“I will pour,” he insisted. “Did you bring cups?” lkAuRh

“Uh…” Li Changyu rubbed the back of his head. “How about we use our hands?”

Though that felt a bit odd, Jin Xiyan lifted his free hand and cupped it. He tore off the cork top with his teeth, much like he’d seen Li Changyu do, then spat it out. Li Changyu snickered at him then Jin Xiyan poured a bit of alcohol into his own hand. Li Changyu held out his two hands cupped together and Jin Xiyan poured about the same amount as his own.

He set the jar aside and they looked one another in the eye for a long moment. The moon light made Li Changyu’s eyes shimmer, and his dark hair almost blended completely into shadow save for the short hank that was his bang that swept across his brow and curled next to his right eye.

“Well…what are you waiting for?” Li Changyu huffed. “Aren’t you going to drink it?” wqz10F

Jin Xiyan blushed and his fear that he’d been caught staring made him snap, “You brought it, you go first!”

“No, you!”

“Alright…alright, let us both drink it at the same time.”

Li Changyu seemed to consider this then nodded, “Okay. On the count of three. One…two…” 5Cvy0c

Both of them lifted their hands towards their faces at the same time, watching one another carefully.

“Three!” They shouted in unison and tipped the liquid into their open mouths. Jin Xiyan’s throat immediately protested and he lurched to the side to spit the liquid out. The liquor burned and tasted like someone stuck something metal in Jin Xiyan’s mouth and ordered him to swallow. Li Changyu was in a similar state and was hunched over with hacking coughs after he spat it out too.

“Ugh!” Li Changyu cried and wiped his mouth with the back of his arm. “That was disgusting! How do adults drink that?!”

“I have no idea…” Jin Xiyan scrunched his nose and looked at the jug. He couldn’t rule out that Commander Xu had particularly strange tastes when it came to cuisine, so perhaps what he liked with alcohol was just as bizarre. 4iOvky

Li Changyu gave a full body shudder and groaned once again, “Okay…next step in being sworn Brothers.”

Jin Xiyan arched his brow and watched as Li Changyu picked up the knife and started to carve his name in the wood. He held the blade expertly, his cuts were smooth, and he finished in no time.

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“Chang…yu…” Li Changyu grinned at his handiwork and brushed off the flecks of bark from his carving. He handed Jin Xiyan the knife. “Your turn!”

Jin Xiyan took the offered weapon carefully and rolled onto his knees to face the trunk. He bent forward and stabbed at the wood, trying to be as crafty as Li Changyu was, but failed. His character carvings were jagged and sloppy. He even managed to make the Xi in Xiyan look crooked. Jin Xiyan frowned at the tree. Gj6mz3

“Good job!” Li Changyu smiled brightly and ran his fingers over Jin Xiyan’s name. “You didn’t cut yourself, either. I’m proud of you!”

It was easy to tell when Li Changyu was being sarcastic, and he wasn’t right now. Jin Xiyan hardly thought this was worthy of any praise, but butterflies fluttered in his stomach regardless.

“That is all of the steps. We are sworn Brothers now!”

Before Li Changyu could take his knife back, he blurted out, “There’s another step.” r9Tg0n

Li Changyu furrowed his brows and jutted out his lower lip, “What step? I did it just like Jiuxing said to do. I think I got the order right…”

“It’s…” Think, Jin Xiyan! “It’s…it’s a secret third step.”

That made Li Changyu’s eyes widen and he leaned close, “Secret?”

“Mhm!” In the back of his mind he prayed that this white lie would not bite him in the afterlife. “Yeah, a secret step.” E3J1oV

Jin Xiyan opened his mouth to speak but his eyes honed in on Li Changyu’s eyes. His long black lashes fanned his cheeks with each blink, his eyes crinkling in the corners from his smile.

“Well, Xiyan, what is it?”

He pulled his gaze away and gathered up his resolve once again. He coughed into his fist, “Ah, um…in some cases, the secret step is to…braid a lock of our hair with one another.”

“A braid?” Li Changyu’s eyes narrowed, “Why a braid?” lph1co

“It means that, well…a braid means we’ll be bonded forever.” He just parroted what his sister had said when she explained it.

“Hmm…okay!” Li Changyu accepted it easily with a shrug. “How do we do this?”

“Well, first…” Jin Xiyan scooted closer and touched Li Changyu’s hair by their temple. He trailed his fingers down along the strands to their braid and tugged at the loose tie on it to let it fall down. He gave Li Changyu his hair ribbon and reached up for his own bun and pulled it loose.

His own hair was a bit longer than Li Changyu’s, going well past his shoulders and down to his elbows, as opposed to Li Changyu’s which ended at his biceps. He picked a small section of his hair and did the same with Li Changyu’s. shub8U

“May I?” he asked with a hoarse voice. It shouldn’t be so nerve wracking, but it was for Jin Xiyan.

“En,” Li Changyu smiled softly and took hold of his own strand of hair so Jin Xiyan could start weaving their hair together.

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The black and brown ends melted together in a very simple braid that was no more than a few inches long. Jin Xiyan used his own hair tie to close off the braid, then Li Changyu did the same with the other end. It felt odd being attached to Li Changyu in such a weird way, but looking at the braid, Jin Xiyan reflected on how true to their relationship it was.

Two separate colors clumsily meshed together, one set coarse and thick, the other sleek and straight. It was opposites meeting together in a disjointed harmony, and for some reason, it looked absolutely beautiful and poetic to Jin Xiyan. UipM9s

Li Changyu examined their connected hair. “It’s braided…so now what?”

Jin Xiyan had to work over the excuses coming up in his brain. He couldn’t cut it and keep it – if someone found it on him or in his room, he’d have to explain a lot of things. He went with another boldfaced lie, “Then we cut it off and bury the braid.”

“How about we bury it under the tree?” Li Changyu asked as he lifted his knife up.

At Jin Xiyan’s nod, Li Changyu delicately cut the braid and their untethered hair fell away. Reluctantly Jin Xiyan inched away and the boys turned to face the tree. On hands and knees, they took turns digging the small hole at the base of it directly under their names. When it was deep enough, they both reached for the piece at the same time and their hands brushed together. Jin Xiyan froze at the contact, but Li Changyu brushed on by and plucked the braid up first. He gave it a little toss into the hole. bAB8lT

Jin Xiyan pushed the dirt over it while Li Changyu stood up and wiped their hands on their clothes. He packed the dirt over with a firm push and then stood up alongside Li Changyu.

“Huh,” Li Changyu said, making Jin Xiyan look over. Li Changyu was watching him with a curious smile on his face.

Self-conscious now, he asked, “…What? What’s wrong?”

“Noooothing,” sing-songed Li Changyu. His grin grew as he added, “You look kinda cute when you wear your hair down!” 04t2g

Jin Xiyan made a good impression of a carp with his mouth opening and closing, unable to respond. Li Changyu let out an impish laugh and shoved him hard enough that he landed on his ass.

“Race you back to the mansion!” He called before taking off.

A fire started from the tips of his toes and quickly skyrocketed up to the top of his head. The full body flush made his robes feel too tight and he coughed on nothing but air. Unable to bear his embarrassment, he shouted, “Li Changyu!”

—– Kd7z0I

Present day, at Chapter 17.

Yichen.

Jin Xiyan squeezed the brush in his hand as Li Changyu spoke. Seeing the hurt in Li Changyu’s eyes made his tongue swell up. He began to second guess his Mother’s advice.

Li Changyu is acting deranged. If he’s not up to something, then there’s something wrong with him. Don’t engage him, and whatever you do, don’t indulge him. He’ll walk all over you, so you have to be firm. Be a strong Emperor. FtX1Ap

Li Changyu did look like something was wrong with him. He looked even more worn out than he had last seen him, though it didn’t say much since Jin Xiyan was avoiding him. His simple white robes clung to his skinny frame, the edges dirtied with soot from the apparent fire that he started. The bags under Li Changyu’s normally sparkling eyes matched his own.

After a moment of silence, Li Changyu shook his head, pushed off from the desk, and turned.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

“Do you want to know what I would have named them if they weren’t an alpha male?” He tossed over his shoulder, his tone sounding far away. Jin Xiyan remained silent so he could listen to what Li Changyu had to say. “Xinyi. Because even though they wouldn’t be your heir, I wanted them to know they weren’t unwanted and that I was happy with them.”

The names, both thoughtful and sweet, repeated over in his head. Yichen. Xinyi. Ge6ov2

Jin Xiyan finally had the courage to open his mouth, but Li Changyu took off. Despite his limp, Li Changyu was fast. Jin Xiyan pushed back his chair, skirted the desk, and followed after him. He reached out for Li Changyu just as he rushed through the door and slammed the two panels shut behind him. His open palm landed on the wooden seam and he paused. He could hear Li Changyu’s heavy breathing on the other side of the door, but Jin Xiyan remained motionless.

Do you not understand what you are doing? The mess you caused?

Jin Xiyan had to cover up everything like his Family did when he had his accident. That day, which he had eagerly awaited to spend some time with Li Changyu, turned into a nightmare in less than a few hours. He had to fire any of the staff that was in the vicinity that witnessed the event, sentenced the two Shadow Guards who were supposed to be watching Li Changyu to death, and interrogate his own children on what happened. Not only that, but after reassuring Haoran repeatedly that this wasn’t his fault, he had to make his Wives and concubines swear to come up with a different story and bribed the physicians. Many of them were connected to families in his court, and if word got out to them, they would demand Li Changyu’s blood.

And again he had to do the same today, all in the early hours of the morning. Though he was furious with Li Changyu, he tried to protect him and the very little barrier between the Inner and Outer courts, but it was challenging. The hand on the door balled up into a fist as the frustration seeped in. Footsteps receded from the door, which he assumed had to be Li Changyu. Resting his forehead against the door, Jin Xiyan heaved out a sigh and pushed away from it. XLClfY

He went back to his desk but stared at his paperwork without reading it until Su Ao returned. When his Eunuch finally popped his head in, he lifted his own and ordered, “Go fetch Zhen’s Huang Guifei. Zhen has to speak to them.”

Leave a Comment

4 comments

  1. No wonder he thinks that LCY didnt care much… He’s as equally as tired too-

    Welpp miscommunication enters the chat

  2. This bitch, LCY specifically mentioned that he suspected Huang Guifei and what did he do, he called that green tea bitch immediately afterwards.