Ling Xi was completely innocent. He had always boasted about being children’s buddy in the past. He’d even gone to a kindergarten to perform at their 10-year anniversary celebration. At the time, the kindergartners liked him and insisted on keeping him as a teacher. How could he have predicted that things would alter with the passage of time, and that he would meet Waterloo at the temple that day.
He was particularly terrified of weeping children. He had always believed that crying children could attract wolves: “Don’t cry, don’t cry; I’m really not a dog monster… Have you ever seen a dog monster as good-looking as me?”
The tiny Taoist child sobbed even louder as he peered through the crack in his fingers at him.
“I’m filming. Do you know anything about movies and serials? I’m here to act. These ears and this tail are fake!” The tail behind Ling Xi’s butt was fixed to his waist with a special belt. He fumbled as he attempted to unbutton the hidden buckle. The flexibly wagging tail tumbled to the ground with a click, and turned into a very hard stick. He grabbed up the tail and shook it in front of the little Taoist to make his point.
As a result, the little Taoist boy became so terrified that his entire body began to tremble: “The book was not deceiving! An evil spirit can really transform into a human!”
… …
An Ruifeng couldn’t find Ling Xi in the temple’s dining hall after the filming was concluded. When he questioned around, only Zhu Linlin gave him a hint, stating she had seen him run to the back courtyard.
“What on earth is he doing in the backyard?”
“I’m not sure.” Zhu Linlin was eating light cooked cabbage and selected the smallest piece: “It is difficult to tame nature. I guess he’s chasing butterflies.”
An Ruifeng was concerned that Ling Xi would be involved in an accident. He exited the dining hall by himself and headed to the backyard. The crew’s range of activity was limited. An Ruifeng walked to the backyard for the first time, and he had to fumble for a long time before discovering the small door to the backyard. Zhu Linlin had not lied to him. He noticed Ling Xi squatting under the eaves of the corridor, holding a round sack in his arms, as soon as he reached the backyard. When he got closer, he discovered it was a little Taoist with his hair combed into a little topknot. The boy was as chubby as the Michelin tire logo. His cheeks were plump, like two meatballs hanging from his face.
The kid rested against Ling Xi’s arms, his eyelids swollen to the size of peaches. His eyes had shrunk to mere slits, filled with tears that seemed ready to fall at any moment.
Ling Xi yelled as An Ruifeng approached, as if he had spotted his knight in shining armor: “This kid isn’t letting me go, and he’s also not returning my tail. Go and request that a Taoist priest come and collect this small ball. Please hurry!”
An Ruifeng chuckled as he observed the situation in front of him, teasing him: “So this child is from the Taoist temple? I thought you had given birth to a large fat boy for me in this short time.”
“What nonsense! We are both so skinny, I can’t give birth to such a fat…” Ling Xi was blushing.
An Ruifeng laughed uncontrollably. Every moment he was in contact with Ling Xi, he found a bright spot on his body. Ling Xi was a multicolored kaleidoscope. Everything in the world seemed to become more interesting because of him. You never knew what strange or wonderful remarks may come out of his mouth.
An Ruifeng approached Ling Xi’s side, stooped down, and lightly kissed his mouth, seeing that there was no one else there. Because of the scruples of being outside, the kiss lasted only a few seconds. Before their lips separated, Ling Xi could barely taste An Ruifeng. Today’s lip balm is lemon flavored.
“Why do I like to open your mouth so much?” An Ruifeng scratched Ling Xi’s chin.
Ling Xi blinked: “Which one?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“…” Cc Eelofcu mbeivc’a xffq tlr ufcaifwjcis vfwfjcbg atlr alwf jcv qbecmfv ab xlrr obg atgff wlceafr ragjluta.
Olcu Wl mbwqifafis ojlifv ab mbnfg atf fsfr bo atf xlv lc tlr jgwr rlcmf tlr akb regqglrf jaajmxr kfgf rb ecfzqfmafv. Ktf ilaaif Kjblra ybs kjr vewyragemx jcv qffgfv ja atfw rtbklcu atflg joofmalbc. Ktf ojxf ajli tf kjr mieamtlcu lc tlr tjcv gbiifv ab atf ugbecv.
When the two separated, their breaths were erratic, their lips puffy, and the outfits on their body were messy.
“Wu…” In the end, the small boy’s tears streamed down his cheeks. “You still say you don’t eat people?” he accused, pointing to Ling Xi’s nose.
… …
The old Taoist priest went to the boys’ room that night for a ward round and roll call. He asked each child to tell him what he had learned that day before sending them to bed.
Tiny Taoist A: “I learned ten new words today.”
Tiny Taoist B: “Today I memorized a page of the Dao De Jing!”
Tiny Taoist C: “Today, Shishu taught me to draw a marital harmony charm~”
At the back of all the children, an enlightened tiny chubby boy chewed his finger and said, “Today, today I saw a devil with white hair and gray eyes biting a dog monster’s lips…”
The old Taoist priest was stunned. While patting the little fatty’s head, he stroked his long beard and pretended to be unable to make sense of what he had heard.
※※※
The cast and crew worked at lightning speed. Furthermore, the first few episodes of “Jian Jue Tianxia” were light and amusing without much difficulty. The director was brilliant at his job, and the progress was gratifying.
The filming soon reached the funniest scenario in the first few episodes—the third apprentice was restricted by his bloodline, sometimes male and sometimes female. He transformed into a woman on this day and proceeded to bathe in the lake behind the main mountain gate. The young and vigorous second disciple had never seen a woman’s body and wanted to peep at Lao San in the bath, but he did not dare to conduct such a “terrific” operation alone. So, he deliberately duped the dim-witted fourth disciple into accompanying him. Lao Si had the best relationship with him, and followed him to act as a voyeur. As a result, their spying was discovered by Lao San. Lao Si transformed into a dog and escaped, leaving the second disciple to be thrashed mercilessly.
This plot was one of the script’s few scenes involving Ling Xi and Bao Hui. Almost all of the lines in the scene were delivered by Bao Hui. Ling Xi needed just to agree and ask some silly questions, such as “Woof! What is a woman?”, “Woof! Why can’t you be discovered watching third brother’s bath, ah?” The job was straightforward, and the challenge was extremely low—as long as Bao Hui didn’t play dirty tricks on purpose.
An Ruifeng was deeply worried and sick at heart. He hugged Ling Xi before the early morning filming and frowned: “Xu-ge stated the other day that he warned Bao Hui, but I don’t think he’ll let you off so easily. He works at my company and has a mediocre reputation. Some artists who have worked with him have described him as narrow-minded… How about I tag along with you for today’s filming? I’ll just remark that I’d like to observe and learn.”
“Do you want to observe and learn how I am reprimanded by the director?” Ling Xi explained bitterly: “Do you think I don’t want to tie you up and bring you with me? But today’s shoot has Zhu Linlin’s bathing scene! Her agent requested that the scene be cleared. So, aside from us three actors, only the staff will be present. It’ll be too abrupt if you come.”
Originally, a body double for Zhu Linlin had been arranged for today’s scene. However, after thorough analysis of all factors, she opted to play in person. After the day’s scenes were shot, her agency would publish a pre-written article, and make every effort to portray her as a female singer who dared to devote herself to the performing arts.
An Ruifeng couldn’t ignore the crew’s orders and accompany Ling Xi to the shooting location, no matter how concerned he was.
“Why don’t I lend you Xu-ge? He has prior experience with these matters. He can assist you if there is an emergency during filming.”
Yangtian Media, Ling Xi’s agency, could only be blamed for not sending a replacement agent after transferring Wu Youpeng away from Ling Xi! Ling Xi was in a bad predicament. Apart from his agent, he had no other assistants. Ling Xi was alone in the crew now that Wu Youpeng had left. After the other actors finished shooting a scene, their agents served them water and fanned them. Ling Xi, on the other hand, could only be self-reliant.
Fortunately, An Ruifeng and Xu Zhiqiang looked after him well and would never let him be wronged in this regard.
An Ruifeng, however, was unable to participate in the current circumstances.
“Forget it. After all, Xu-ge is an Upstart Entertainment employee. There’s no way I can justify asking him to accompany me when I’m filming.” Ling Xi squeezed out an upbeat smile: “It’ll be fine. I’m going to film, not act in a palace drama. What tricks can he pull with so many people watching?”
—Facts proved that Ling Xi, who had never acted previously, had seriously miscalculated Bao Hui’s actions…
“Cut!”
When Ling Xi ran into another tree while walking in the woods, the director flung his hat on the ground in a rage. “Ling Xi, how many times have I told you to walk in the middle! Walk in the middle! Why do you have problems every time? You either run into a tree or trip and fall?! Because of you, all of the costumes have become soiled! Do you know how to walk, or do you not?!”
Ling Xi bent his head and listened to the director’s rebuke without saying anything. He appeared mortified, but the villain in his heart had already stabbed Bao Hui, who was standing nearby, into mud with a sword.
There were numerous issues throughout filming, but Ling Xi was certainly not to blame for any of them. This scene was a conversation in the woods. The fourth apprentice, Ling Xi, inquires of the second apprentice, Bao Hui, as to why he had brought him to the woods in the rear mountain. The second apprentice exposes his intention and tells the entire story about wanting to peep on the third apprentice (as a female) as she bathes.
Bao Hui: “Lao Si, do you want to see what a woman’s body looks like?”
Ling Xi: “Woof! Ah? What is a woman?”
Bao Hui: “Aiya! It’s someone with a protruding upper body!”
Ling Xi: “Woof! Isn’t that a hunchback!”
Bao Hui: “Stupid dog, a hunchback has a protruding back, whereas a woman has front… It’s Mimi, Mimi!”
Ling Xi: “Mimi? I like Mimi the most, woof! But every time MiMi sees me, she runs away.”
Bao Hui: “Mimi is not a cat, it’s a bosom! A woman has soft breasts. Don’t you want to take a look?”
Ling Xi: “You want to see a bosom? Ah-Hua on the back mountain is pregnant with a puppy again. She has eight breasts.”
Bao Hui: “I want to see a human! I don’t want to see a dog!”
Ling Xi: “Woof! Then I will show you mine.”
Bao Hui: “Don’t! Don’t! I want to look at women, not men.”
Ling Xi: “Woof! But there are no women here.”
Bao Hui: “Have you forgotten that today is an odd day? Third younger brother turns into a woman every odd day and a man every even day!”
Ling Xi was dazed when he read the script for the first time because of this senseless setting. The third apprentice was not only unable to drive, but he was also constrained by odd and even days… He did, however, like the transition scene in which he repeatedly choked off Bao Hui. He worked hard to memorize his lines so that he wouldn’t forget a single word and drop his handle.
But when they started filming, Ling Xi found Bao Hui’s heinous tactics. This scenario was a conversation set in the woods following which the scene would shift to the small lake at the end of the mountain stream. It was a relatively unremarkable scenario, but Bao Hui used a variety of small tricks.
The first trick was to steal the spotlight. Bao Hui’s walking position was very distinctive. Every time he stepped on it, he was in the center of the camera lens. He frequently turned around to face Ling Xi, covering most of Ling Xi’s face many times.
The second trick was to crowd in. There was no trace of concrete roads in the forest, simply a narrow path formed by the Taoist priests’ frequent excursions to the mountain spring to fetch water. The path was so narrow that it could barely accommodate two individuals walking side by side. Bao Hui would “occasionally” stray to the side while filming, squeezing Ling Xi off the path. The entire area was densely covered with branches and leaves, with the exception of the trail beneath their feet. Ling Xi was jammed into a tree twice, scratched three times, and stumbled once on a protruding tree root, dropping to gnaw on mud like a dog.
The crew had a lot of experience. It may be stated that Ling Xi was reckless if it happened only once or twice. But it happened far too frequently, and everyone could tell that Bao Hui was purposefully targeting Ling Xi. But Ling Xi had no backing, and even his agent had been transferred (everyone knew everything that happened in the circle as soon as they inquired about it). Bao Hui, on the other hand, was the primary target of Upstart Entertainment’s grooming efforts. There was a line of agents and assistants waiting to defend his side. It was difficult for the director to say anything under these circumstances.
He could only beat around the bush and “remind” Ling Xi “to walk in the middle”. As Bao Hui’s behavior worsened, the director couldn’t stand the thought of the filming schedule being pushed back.
—Don’t you enjoy being the center of attention? Don’t you crowd people. OK! You’ll both stand smack in the middle and film for me! No one is permitted to take even a single step!
Translator:
Aiya, the third apprentice is not bigender but literally switches between male and female form on alternate days… Truly a mind-blowing setting 
thanks for the chapter! ♡
thank you for the chapter!! ❤
Let’s slam Bao Hui into a tree.. hard Dx That guy is so petty.
Thx for the ch (ㅅ˘ㅂ˘)
I wish to throttle Bao Hui till he cries hmph!
My poor Ling Xi T^T<33
Waiting for some face slapping hehe
Thanks for the update Amy-san!
thanks for the chapter
This is the worst thing when someone interferes with work!
Thank you very much for the translation
Poor Xi Xi ( ･ั﹏･ั)
Thanks for the chapter <3
Thank you for the chapter!
Can someone slam BH into the wall….