Editors: sleepchaser, con
On the same morning the house had grown in size, I was preparing to plant cabbages. As I tilled the soil in the field, I heard a notification from my smartphone.
I put down my hoe and checked the screen, only for my face to grow complicated at God’s message:
“Roses are red
Violets are blue
Why is that child
Still a virgin?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Qtja xlcv bo qbfw kjr atja?
“Uifjrf vb sbeg yfra rfjgmtlcu obg tlr yglvf,” P weaafgfv, yfobgf asqlcu bea ws gfrqbcrf.
“Pa rffwr ilxf Vlu ilxfr la ktfc atlcur jgf wbgf ilnfis. P atlcx bcis tjnlcu bcf yglvf kbc’a yf fcbeut obg tlw.” Ccv, rfca. P gfaegcfv atf qtbcf ab ws qbmxfa.
Just as I was about to pick up the hoe again, another notification sounded. I heaved a small sigh and moved to rest in the shade of a tree. It would be better to talk after settling down.
“It’s already been decided that he can only have one wife. That’s especially true for his tribe.”
“But he told me that he wants three people.”
He didn’t explicitly say that he wanted to have three wives, but it was implied.
Yet God only sent me a casual reply. “You’re acting like that again, LOL.”
“Also, what’s with that title? I’m not Sig’s wife.”
“What’s wrong, Minoru? Are you burning with jealousy? Looks like the two of you didn’t do anything last night. Did you have a lovers quarrel?”
“What the heck do you mean by jealousy…? That’s not it! How long do you want to continue this joke? I’m just a wanderer who trespassed into this world by accident, right? You already said that in the past.”
Why was God treating me like Sig’s wife now all of a sudden?
I let out the sigh that had been building in my chest since the night before, slipping down to sit on the roots of the tree. I’d been gloomy all morning, and this question had been bothering me, so much that I felt exhausted without having worked a lot yet.
For a while, no response. But eventually the phone rang. I picked up, not a word escaping my lips.
“It’s true that I said that before. But I changed my mind. After all, his life companion should be someone he chooses for himself.”
As I listened to his unhurried words, my heart calmed little by little. God was right. Sig should choose his spouse himself… No, wait a minute.
“Then, what happened to the search for Sig’s bride?”
“I already stopped it, you know? He doesn’t need it anyway, since he has already chosen you as his life companion.”
Wait, you can’t just stop it like that.
“Minoru… I’ll leave that kid in your care.”
“I’m not okay with this!”
He was trying to tie this up in a nice bow, but I wouldn’t let him do that.
I gripped my smartphone and explained why Sig gave me his real name. That it was only for my safety, not because he wanted to get married.
However, God just laughed. Then he told me to check my status screen.
“Do you know what the first entry for the ‘Care’ category is? If you attend to that kid in any way, you’ll get points from it. You should be more confident, Minoru! That kid is already madly in love with you, to the point that you got the ‘Share a Bed’ entry on the first day.”
Oho? Behind that cool ikemen facade, Sig sure has a Hello Kitty heart! (ી₍₍⁽⁽(ી(( ◉ ω ◉))ʃ)₎₎⁾⁾ʃ)₎₎♡