Translator: mii
Editors: sleepchaser, ASplashofMusic, Katie_WanderingFujoshi
Riley’s horse was a stunning stallion with a dark bay coat. I remembered him riding that horse during the parade.
Although I had wondered what happened to the horse since he didn’t bring it to the tavern, Riley informed me he intended on returning it to the army.
“I don’t need such a fine horse for my return to Tobol,” said Riley at that time.
According to him, many people would jump to be its next owner, fine horse that it was. But upon hearing this, I wanted to heave a big sigh.
Even if the horse was willing to accept a new owner, would anyone have the courage to take the hero’s partner?
Though Chescal was bigger than the average horse, he had a gentle temper. Still, according to Riley, Chescal had accompanied him all the way to the demon territory. It was pretty shocking.
“Chescal, please take care of me from now on, okay?” I said, flashing it a warm smile. When it’s all said and done, this was Riley’s long-time partner and protector.
Yet in the middle of it, I felt a steely glance from beside me.
Recently, Riley had shot such a look at me often. Like when I was talking with the customers at the tavern or with Mister Elmer.
I had tried to coax what was wrong out of him, but as always, he would maintain that nothing was wrong. His gaze told a different story, however…
I turned to greet the mare beside Chescal. “Cindy, please take care of me too.”
Smaller than Chescal, Cindy had a dark chestnut mane and sharp eyes. My horse for the entirety of my journey to Tobol.
Cindy neighed, rubbing its head against my hand.
Relieved that Cindy was gentle as well, I recalled the day I visited Mister Kenneth.
✢
Fueled by my desire to mend that large scar upon Riley’s heart, I had asked about the events that had transpired following Allen’s death.
They said that wounds would heal over time. But Allen had been dead for sixteen years.
Well, if our positions were switched, it would have also affected me for quite a while. I had died in the worst way possible. And even if my death hadn’t been that gruesome, to suddenly not have your childhood friend anymore, who had essentially been with you for your entire life, would surely leave behind a deep trauma…
But to be honest, there was a possibility that his icy expression wasn’t because he still hadn’t gotten over my death. Rather, it may be due to the harshness of his battles.
However, after listening to Mister Kenneth’s story, I understood the complexity.
Riley had held onto Allen’s corpse for many days. Then he buried Allen with his own hands and claimed Allen’s name as his own. He lived solely for the sake of revenge.
Riley even told Mister Elmer that he would settle down in Tobol after the parade. Not to mention, he had said, “That way, it’ll be less lonely.” Those words were probably for Allen, who lay in eternal rest in the village.
“Ilya, please take care of yourself,” said Mister Kenneth in worry. “Should any harm come to you, I’m afraid Riley would…”
“I agree. It was still fine when he only strove to annihilate the demons for revenge. But I’m afraid if this goes on, he might become the second Demon King,” Mister Elmer added.
Laughter spilled from my lips at their exaggerations. Yet their solemn gazes were anything but amused.
The sixteen years of Riley’s life after my death were unknown to me. On the other hand, both of them had witnessed what Riley was like during that period. It made sense they might have their own considerations.
After I had promised to take care of myself to the best of my ability, they started throwing supplies into my hands. They even lent me a good horse.
Though… just what did Riley think of me?
I knew that I occupied a large space in his heart. But I didn’t believe it was to the extent that he would become the second Demon King after my death.
That’s because I was both Allen and Ilya.
Because I experienced life as both of them one after the other without any disruptions in between, I didn’t distinguish them as two separate entities.
Even so… I wanted Riley to see me not as Allen, who had already passed away, but as the ‘me’ who was alive now.
I died once already. Since we could serendipitously meet again, I wanted him to see me as Ilya. The person who was a combination of my past and present self.
I wanted him to look forward to the future with me, not just look back on the challenging times of the past.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Since we were both men, it was impossible to have that kind of relationship… right?
✢
As I had received a horse and escort free of charge, I could remove those costs from my expense list. Meaning, I still had a lot of money left for traveling expenses. At the start, I considered allocating those funds to lodging fees, but my ex-orphan nature inhibited me from doing so.
Riley vehemently opposed staying in cheap inns, where many people huddled together to sleep inside one big room. But to rent two private rooms was so wasteful, and in the end, we compromised to stay in a double room.
Our relationship grew strained to the extreme ever since that incident in the bathroom. Hence, we had been bathing and sleeping separately. Until now. Now that we had resumed doing those things together during our journey, I had a tendency to become overly conscious.
This was all Mister Elmer’s fault!
Saying flowery, poetic things like ‘love’ and such. Why did he even do that?!
“Ilya, I brought the hot water,” said Riley, interrupting my internal protestations.
“A-ah. Sorry, I was thinking.”
It shocked me whenever Riley called out to me. And whenever our eyes met, the atmosphere grew so awkward that I always ended up evading his gaze.
Even without looking, I knew that my actions saddened Riley. I also felt guilty and frustrated with myself because of it.
As I was immersed in such thoughts, Riley suddenly undressed in front of me.
Naturally, his finely-honed, bulging muscles attracted my eyes.
The urge to trace those scars on his body with my fingertips flared within me.
…Damn it, what was I even thinking? Get a hold of yourself.
He was Riley. My… important childhood friend. Someone I wanted to protect, even if I had to sacrifice my life.
So why was I harboring such wicked thoughts for him?
First of all, he was a man. No matter how I looked at him, he was hundred percent a man. No signs of femininity whatsoever.
Even the muscles on his back were visibly bulging, his shoulders broad and firm.
Above all, one particular, familiar sight for me. Both in my previous life and my current one.
What was it, you might ask? It was naturally his enormous ‘manhood!’
Flustered, I ripped my gaze away from Riley’s muscular body.
For good measure, I turned around, pretending to organize my luggage while in reality, attempting to cool down my flaming cheeks.
But soon after, the wet sounds of Riley washing his body invaded my mind… No good, I should cool my head for a while.
The haze in my mind would surely dissipate once I took a breather outside in the cold wind.
With that in mind, I headed to the door, grabbing the doorknob without a thought.
It was at that moment.
“Allen!!!”
Riley grabbed my shoulders and pulled me down to the side of the bed.
Because of the impact, I closed my eyes out of reflex. And Riley took advantage of that moment to capture my wrists in his hand. In an instant, he rendered me immobile.
In the midst of my amazement, I stared at his arms that were around as thick as my thigh. Then my eyes brushed over his firm shoulder muscles, and his thick neck. But as soon as Riley’s face finally entered my field of view, my eyes widened. His face. It was as pale as a sheet.
“Ri…ley?”
“Allen, don’t go. Please don’t leave.”
His grip around my wrist was so tight that his fingertips were about to dig into my skin.
Forgetting to even frown at the pain, I continued to stare at Riley.
Such an awfully contorted face. As if he were about to burst into wails at any second.
His pale lips trembled as he repeated the words “no” and “don’t go.”
Why?
As soon as Riley blinked, the tears overflowed from his eyes, falling upon my cheeks.
Hot, yet somehow also cold.
I wanted to wipe his tears, but Riley tightened his grip even further.
He laid his forehead on my shoulders, hiding his face as he clung onto me.
Riley was crying. Yet, why did I feel so happy?
I didn’t even need to think about it.
It was because of Riley’s attachment to me.
I was happy that he clung onto me to stop me from leaving, even if I was only going to leave the room for a breather.
I was happy that his expressionless face finally cracked and burst into tears, despite him painfully pinning me down.
I was a man. Riley was also a man.
But before that, I was Ilya and Riley was Riley.
Back when I was Allen, and now, as Ilya, it didn’t matter whether he was a man or woman. As long as it was Riley, I…
Unable to comfort him with hugs, I settled for rubbing my cheeks against his hair, calling out his name. “Riley, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”
With Riley’s hot tears on my shoulders, joy filled my chest.
Shame for these wretched thoughts rose within me. But my heart, as if unaware of this, only continued pounding from the feel of his body resting on me.
✢
If Riley died to protect me, could I forgive myself?
Could I forget Riley and live a happy life without him?
…Impossible, huh.
Those were my thoughts as I lay underneath Riley, his tears having stopped.
I still didn’t know what I should have done at that time. Or even now.
But if there was something I knew, it was that I had to give him a more proper apology.
I wasn’t sorry that I died alone. Rather, I was sorry for dismissing Riley’s feelings.
Sorry that I didn’t realize how important I was to him.
Bringing my lips close to his ear, I whispered, “Hey… Do you like me that much?”
At the sound of those words, Riley’s body shook. His hands restraining my wrists loosened their grip, instead resting on my palms.
His callused fingers intertwined with mine, performing a light squeeze, as if confirming my existence.
He didn’t say anything, but that was clearly an affirmation.
However, the type of ‘like’ he felt toward me was anyone’s guess.
Was it as a childhood friend or a close buddy? Or maybe, as a lover and life companion?
Either way, I didn’t mind.
He held so much yearning for me. To the point of clinging onto me to make me stay.
In my opinion, nothing could top that.
“I also like you,” I whispered in his ears, accompanied by a squeeze of my hand.
As I traced the back of his hand with my fingertips, I buried my nose in his sandy locks.
The gentle scent of the olive soap, which reminded me of the sun, entered my nostrils and into my heart.
✢
I had to dish out an excuse. No, I needed to.
Although I’d grown used to walking long distances, I still hadn’t adapted to riding a horse.
Maybe it’s because of the different muscles used when riding or my fear of the unfamiliar height, but I grew more exhausted than I had expected.
Eventually, I fell asleep, with Riley still clinging onto me.
Would I really be okay?
For the realization of my feelings toward Riley had finally struck me.
These feelings probably existed back when I had still been Allen. But I had always avoided them.
At that time, I had been too young to realize what they meant.
I had originally regarded him as my closest childhood friend, more important than anyone else. But now… my ‘like’ for him deviated from the ‘like’ between childhood friends.
The type that caused my chest to warm and my heart to pound whenever my thoughts wandered to him. That gave me the urge to touch him, and craved for him to touch me.
How did I even fall asleep after having such realizations?
Also, why did Riley sleep beside me?
I shifted my gentle gaze to the sleeping man, whose arms wrapped around me.
His sleeping face looked peaceful, but upon closer inspection, his eyelids were a little swollen.
Speaking of which, it had been a long time since I saw his face when asleep.
Young Riley used to be a heavy sleeper. He would continue to sleep even after roosters crowed.
However, after our reunion, he slept later than me and woke up earlier than me. I was impressed at how much he had grown up, but…
I liked this version of him much more.
The surge of joy warmed my chest.
The urge to cover my grin proved strong, so I rested my forehead on his shoulder.
Author Notes:
I’ll add a comment regarding Ilya and Allen’s appearance.
[Hair Color] Same
[Eyes] Same color, but Ilya’s are slightly more droopy.
[Body] Ilya’s build is more slender. But Allen was only twelve years old when he last appeared, so it’s hard to compare.
[Face] Average, so they might look similar, but not exactly the same.
However, since they’re basically the same person, their habits, gestures, and auras are identical.
For this reason, you can say that he looks like the same person from a distance, but he’s actually a different person upon closer inspection. Though they do have the same facial expressions, which adds to their similarities.
I was watching ‘What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim’ today and I just found out that Korean serial drama is very interesting~ Can anyone recommend me cute and funny serial drama like that one? 
please don’t rec me sad ones because I easily cry like a baby
Also Riley’s yandere vibe starts to show up~
Support the author! Here’s the tutorial made by “Shido Within” on how to buy digital books at CMOA. The tutorial specifies on how to buy digital manga, but I think it should work for novels too. After registering, you can click here to go to Icy’s CMOA page. Apparently, you can also buy this book at Bookwalker Japan! You’ll need to create a Bookwalker Global account first, then connect to VPN before clicking here to go to Icy’s Bookwalker page (or you can go there from the RAW Page on Icy’s ToC!). Here’s the guide on how to purchase books on Bookwalker JP Store! After the purchase, you can turn off the VPN and download to read the book on any device! (Thank you Shadow-san for telling me about this! ˭̡̞(◞⁎˃ᆺ˂)◞*✰) The difference is that if you’re using CMOA, you need to pay using your credit card, but with Bookwalker, you can pay using PayPal! Very efficient!
Support the translator! How about buying this translator a cup of bubble tea to give her a pat in the back? ₍₍ ◝(●˙꒳˙●)◜ ₎₎
Thanks for the chapter….I recommend goblin if you haven’t watched it yet . 😊😊😊
I heard that the ending is sad, too scared to watch QAQ
I’ll make sure to watch them when I’m feeling more courageous! Thank you for the recommendation, dying student-san!
Honestly, I have wonder around looking for reincarnation stories that include at least one element of which they used. You will love it, you will laugh a lot, and you will cry a bit too but it will make the whole story even better since they never over use the sadness part at all (the ending is sort of open yet give closure to most things and is a happy one. Promise).
Poor Riley 🙁 (but doncha worry, Ilya is already into you ;))
Thanks for the chapter!!!~ 🙇🙇🙇 oooh and I recommend Descendants of the Sun its cute and weightlifting fairy kim bokjo or fight my way ^^
Descendants of the Sun!!! A lot of my friends recommend that too so I was going to watch that one after this! 😀 Thank you for the recommendations, VeiKyuu-san!
Doctors
Moonlight drawn by clouds
uncontrollably fond
Goblin
Thank you for an update
Thank you for the recommendations, Kitten-san! 😀
Aww both are so cute!
Thanks for translating ! ❤
Thank you for reading, Crowny-san! 🙂
I also recommend Midnight Runners, it follows two guys training to become police officers, but they end up seeing girl being kidnapped, and later stumble upon a bigger crime than they expect. It sounds scary/depressing, but it’s mostly about their relationship and how they grow up. They are honestly so fudging cute (one of the MCs is the guy from What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim), and tbh, I low-key ship them.
Trust me, you won’t regret watching either, they both made me crack up and go aww many times.
Wah, really appreciate the details!!! Putting both of them to my list, the second one sounds like my cup of tea (I really like mystery and crime solving with cute CP to ship) 😀 Thank you for the recommendation, kavitha.ganesamoorthy-san!
Thanks for the chapter~ ( ^ ♡ ^ )/
Thank you for reading, Terra-san!
I personally never really watch any Kdramas since I don’t like watching anything that’s ‘too hype’ (since usually I’ll expect a lot and end up disappointed over the small details 🙁 ) (like that ‘Your Name’ movie, haven’t watched it until now because it’s just sooooo hypeeee)
I like reading manhwas too! Handsome Duke, cute princesses~~~ I’ll make sure to check Secretary Kim’s webtoon 🙂
Thanks for the chapter! ^ ^
Thank you for reading, BLOOD-san!
Thanks for the chapter! I’m glad the poor man could cry safely & that his beloved is slowly updating his software, lol.
Thank you for reading, Ethereal Rainbow Canvas-san! Hopefully both of them can be happy soon. 🙂
Thanks for the chapter! Recommend: Crash Landing On You. Comedic, romantic, with some plot, plus a hot male lead! 😉
Thank you for the recommendation! 😀
Thanks for the chapter!! Try watching ‘Her Private Life’, ‘Strong Woman Do Bong Soon’ or ‘Hwayugi
Added to the list! Thank you for the recommendation! ^^
Awwww, many cuddles and he figured out his feelings!! Poor Riley… he’s got serious trauma and abandonment issues.
Thank you for the chapter!
Hoping for his recovery! :’)
Thank you for reading, WhiteFlare-san!
Thx for the ch (≧▽≦)/
(The previous one isn’t posted on NU yet.)
My April Fools chapter harmed the other readers? XD
Thank you for telling me, I’ll fix it soon.
My dad watched this drama called Perfume and I think it’s similar to Secretary Kim, but I’m not into Korean Drama’s. (I like anime).
I’ll check it out! And I used to be a weeb that followed the series every season… I didn’t do that anymore, though. Too many full fanservice and slice of life animes… ^^” Maybe my preference is changing, but I want something heavier like the old ones!
I’m a sucker for affectionate yanderes….
Thanks for the chapter, it’s just so sweet!
Hehe me too! 😀
Thank you for reading, kiaretts-san!
Strong Woman Do Bong Soon and Doctors. The first one is definitely funnier, but it has its serious moments to. The second one, was absolutely amazing.
Thank you for the recommendation, dowling96-san! 🙂
I liked “she was pretty” , and the OST ! And “High End Love” was great I could see it again even. Recommended!
Thank for translation !
I watched ‘She was Pretty’ before! I don’t remember most of the scene, but I remember enjoying the series!! I’ll make sure to watch it again 🙂
Thank you for the recommendation, zephki-san!
He was going for a breather! Don’t overreact, Riley! And he’s weaker than you! Don’t be a bully, please.
Thanks for the chapter!
You should watch Couple of Fantasy (Couple or Trouble). It’s funny and the protagonists are so cool!
Thank you for reading, Navleu-san!
And that really sounds interesting 😀 I’ll make sure to watch it!
Thanks for the chapter, mii. Their past is so sad.. the details about their feelings surfacing is amazing, and the way you have described it makes it feel alive. Thank you 😭❤
Watch “Hwarang”.
Thank you for reading, Lupus-san! 🙂 Glad to hear that you enjoyed it!
And I’ll make sure to check it out! 😉
I know this is late but thanks for the translation 🙂
Also, a great k-drama to check out would be Hotel de Luna. It’s a really cute but also funny k-drama with one of the most interesting fantasy/supernatural plots you’ll see.
It’s a high budget series with great actors that make even the side stories entertaining. Also don’t know if you’re into k-pop but the female lead is IU!
You should watch Melting me Softly. It’s about a cyronic couple who were accidentally frozen for 20 years.
Thank you for the chapter!
Its pretty late but Eulachaha Waikiki is a really funny one.
Her private life,
strong woman do bong soon,
goblin,
Hotel del luna,
touch your heart,
Cinderella with four knights,
My love from another stars,
Oh my ghosts,
W: two worlds
healers
Who are you: school 2015
My fav^^
This novel has been giving me Owari No Seraph vibes… And I’m loving it mayghad
Thank you for the chapter ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for the chapter! Amazing translation, as always. My recommendation is Go Back Couple, which is about an older married couple on the brink of divorce who return to their time as students. It’s very sweet, and family is an important theme in the drama.
How have people not recommend Healer yet? It. Is. Perfection. Amazing soundtrack. Amazing plotline. Amazing romance. Character development. And it sends a message. And its just amazing. Ji changwook is also amazing;;;;
THANK YOU FOR TRANSLATING TOO <3 THIS NOVEL IS SO CUTE
Thanks for this chapter UwU I reccomend “My love from the Stars” it’s an absolute BANGER
Thank you for your hard work
OK so its been 2 years now….and I’m reading it for the first time ….nice novel and translation…
I don’t know why no one recommended legend of the blue sea…its the best k drama..try it too