Green Plum IslandCh29 - Say That Again?

Fu Wei told me this secret of his back in high school. He comes from a wealthy family of businessmen. His dad isn’t listed on Forbes or anything, but he runs at least two successful mid-level companies. Technically speaking, Fu Wei is part of the nouveau riche.

His dad is never without women; Fu Wei’s mother knows of his womanising ways and keeps a tight leash on him. But that was never enough for his dad. He came up with the wicked idea of using his son to cover for him. He would always say that he was taking his son out somewhere, then leave Fu Wei somewhere in the city and go off to spend time with his mistress. Afterwards, he’d pay him generously. 3819IE

Father and son had this arrangement going since Fu Wei was in middle school; by then, he was already used to it and even thought it was a convenient way to earn some money. When he told me, I was shocked and thought to myself that it’s true what they say, all families have skeletons in their closets. It made my own parents’ problems seem like nothing.

Now that I think back on it, I should’ve known then that he’s not any less of a freak than I was. He only told me these things because we were good friends and he trusted me, so we tended to share little secrets. I never had the thought of revealing any of his secrets, not even if we weren’t friends anymore. I didn’t think of doing it even when gossip about me had spread to the entire school.

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The fact that I’m threatening him now with it shocks even me.

“I’m going to let you go, but watch your mouth. And don’t come find me again, okay?” I remove my hand from Fu Wei’s face, but keep my other hand on his collar. yjoVDE

Fu Wei still looks shaken, his mood index pitch black. He looks like he doesn’t even recognise me anymore.

What was there to be surprised about though? A dog would hop a fence if bullied into a corner, a rabbit would bite. Did he think I’d let him go on like this forever?

That’s not an issue with me, but I just don’t think it’s necessary. If people want to hate me because I’m gay, then they can go ahead. I don’t need their approval anyways.

“Promise.”

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Fu Wei looks at me blankly, then swallows and says, “Okay.”

He’s a handsome boy and a smart one, but he was never one for physical activity, and he’s never gotten into a fight before. He once told me that fighting was so brutish and didn’t go along with his character. I don’t know what kind of character he’s talking about, but if he keeps annoying me, I certainly don’t mind engaging in brutish exercises with him.

“You’d better keep your word, or else I’ll really kill you.” I let go of his collar and move aside.

He looks at me, his gaze complicated, then looks over at Yan Kongshan. Finally, with an air of embarrassment and annoyance, he goes around the gate and runs off. I watch until he finally disappears from sight, then let a breath of air out that had been stewing in my chest. 10EYd5

“I didn’t peg you to be so fierce.” Yan Kongshan puts out his half-smoked cigarette and approaches. “You hit the bad guy and sent him running yourself.”

I pick up my keys from the ground and turn to open the lock. “I didn’t hit him.” I just gently shoved him.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Yan Kongshan chuckles lightly. When he speaks again, his voice is much closer, almost right by my ear. “Yu Mian, are you still angry with me?”

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Fumbling around with the lock, I finally get the gate open. Before I can tell him that I’m not mad anymore, Yan Kongshan grabs my wrist from behind. He seems to have misinterpreted my silence.

“I’m sorry.” Uu13HE

Surprised, I turn around to look at him. He stares at me, then repeats sincerely, “I spoke too harshly that day, I’m sorry.”

He’s so sincere that I start to feel uncomfortable. Because Grandpa was right, no matter how good of friends we are, it’s important to think of the other party when giving advice, and I can’t force them to accept my opinions; it’s too arrogant.

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“No, I… I was in the wrong too.”

For a moment, none of us speak. There’s only the sound of the leaves on the trees rustling in the wind and the cry of the cicadas. Somewhere in the distance, Mr. Zhang’s or someone’s dog barks suddenly. A bicycle passes, bell ringing. 478jlY

I can feel his eyes graze my hair, down my face, to my neck. The intense scrutiny makes my ears burn, and where his hand grasps mine, all I feel is fire.

I get the feeling that he turned yellow again, but we’re too close and it’s not convenient for me to suddenly look up over his head. All I can do is shift my eyes somewhere else. “Um…”

Yan Kongshan lets go of my hand. “Don’t sleep too late,” he says lightly.

He turns to leave. I bite my lip, and then it’s almost as if an invisible force has overtaken me, driving me to act on impulse like a puppet. BnY Jg

Before his hand can completely let go of mine, I grab him instead, practically shaking from nervousness. “Hold on!” I haven’t done anything dramatic, yet somehow I feel a fire sense of urgency.

What now? What do I do?

While my mind is still spinning, my body moves on its own. “I need to talk to you.”

I don’t give him a chance to turn me down — in one move, I pull him into the yard by force and shut the gate behind him. L ronE

Without the shine of the streetlights outside, the yard is in complete darkness. All that’s visible are vague silhouettes of things. We do have an automatic porch light, but for whatever reason, it isn’t lighting up.

I release Yan Kongshan’s hand, standing with my back against the gate so that he can’t run off before I finish talking.

Not that he’s the type to do that anyway, but just in case.

“Yu Mian?” There’s a lingering hesitancy in his tone, probably because things are happening completely out of his expectation. AlwGE3

“That night I said your name, right?”

It’s a simple statement that no one would understand with no context, but I know he knows what I mean.

The night I got drunk, when I clung to him and confessed, I definitely called out his name. I didn’t mistake him for someone else, I couldn’t possibly have. What he called “mistaking” him for someone else was just his way of brushing the incident off.

Yan Kongshan doesn’t speak for a long time. While a moment before he was a body of warmth that could melt a person, right now he’s a distant, icy mountain that keeps everyone at arm’s length. It’s like he’s trying to use cold silence to make me back down. O wcgG

But I have no plans of backing down.

“Do you want to know the latter half of the sentence Fu Wei meant to say?” I didn’t stop Fu Wei from speaking out because of fear. I stopped him because Yan Kongshan shouldn’t have to hear the fact that I like him from someone else’s mouth. It can only come from me.

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I don’t know whether tonight is the best night to tell him, but occasionally things turn out so — Long, drawn-out preparation is sometimes worse than those sudden moments of whimsy.

If I succeed, I succeed. If I fail, I fail. When it comes to confessions, no one cares how you do it. People don’t accept confessions if they don’t like someone just because that person spent a long time setting up the perfect confession. FxdniT

“I have a social media account. He learned from there that I moved to Green Plum Island, he learned about the bookstore, about my house. I always share snippets from my personal life on there, and my feelings. That’s how he knew that recently I developed feelings for–”

“Yu Mian.” He cuts me off suddenly with my name. He doesn’t call it in the warm, friendly way he usually does, but in a way that serves as a warning.

I pause for only a moment, but I don’t stop.

“The person I like is nine years older than me and runs a bookstore. He has a cute daughter, and has always been straight.” I raise my head. “I like you, Yan Kongshan.” LkJ60j

Yan Kongshan doesn’t respond, just lets out a long, drawn-out sigh. In the end, the guillotine falls, helplessly and melancholically. At the same time, it confirms my suspicion — he already knows that I like him.

“Yu Mian, you’re too… young.” I think he meant to say “small” at first, but changed it because he knows I hate that word.

Not that this is any better.

Hearing him repeat that same old argument, this time I’m overcome more by disappointment than discontent. It’s worse than if he called me immature, because at least immaturity can be fixed. But age… I can’t transform my age, I can’t turn myself into someone his age overnight. MTB7yL

“You still aren’t capable of differentiating between who you truly like and who is just a passerby in your life,” Yan Kongshan continues. “I also told you before that I don’t believe in love, and I don’t need it. I’m not worthy of your affections.”

I’m a little upset, not because of his rejection, but because of his implication that I shouldn’t like him anymore.

“You can not be into me. I didn’t tell you all this to force you to accept me. I just wanted you to know. It’s okay, you’re not into me, I’ve always known that. But I can’t control who I like, so I’m going to keep on liking you.” I think for a minute, then make a ridiculous statement: “I’ll like you until the day I don’t.”

“…That’s your right, I have no right to interfere,” he says. Q1wpIV

It was inevitable that this confession, once said, would fail. In love, there are no guarantees. Whether they turn yellow or pink, what they feel inside. Compared with the people he’s rejected in the past, I’m sure he’s already treated me with a lot more gentleness. Not to mention, he didn’t tell me to stay away from him. So I don’t regret anything.

I move aside, opening the gate for him. Light from the street comes pouring back in, allowing me to see Yan Kongshan’s mood index. It’s quite low; my confession seems to be troubling him.

He heads out, but before he can leave the yard, I suddenly remember something and call out to him. “Hey… if you decide to hang your wind chime back up one day, can I come and take it?”

If he doesn’t like me and he’s a normal man, then he’s not going to be celibate for the rest of his life just for my sake. I imagine the wind chime is going to go back up sooner or later. JGbFLo

I know this, so I planned to ask a while ago, to see if perhaps I could participate in this activity.

Yan Kongshan’s entire body is frozen. Then he turns and stares at me with his brows furrowed. The look on his face is a lot like Fu Wei’s from earlier, like he suddenly doesn’t recognise me at all.

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“Say that again?” He looks genuinely bewildered, in an I must definitely have heard wrong kind of way.

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