Green Plum IslandCh23 - This Is So Hard

“Long time no see.” Jiao Changyue’s gaze skips over me and lands directly on Yan Kongshan.

He squints, seemingly startled by this coincidental meeting. “What are you doing here?” rgoMQk

I stare at his mood index unblinkingly, praying that I won’t see any colours I don’t want to see. And thankfully, aside from his mood value dropping slightly, it shows no indication of turning yellow or pink. Similarly, Jiao Changyue’s mood index stays white. Both of them clearly have no intentions of rekindling an old flame.

This development is too stimulating; I thought I’d have to bear witness to a melodramatic reunion of old lovers. I let out a quiet sigh, wishing I could find a place to lie down with my limbs splayed to relax my tensed up nerves.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

“I got promoted recently and have been under a lot of pressure, so I came here for sleeping medication.” A gust of wind blows past,

Yan Kongshan nods. “Congratulations.” xwgtKT

Jiao Changyue isn’t young, but she clearly takes care of herself because she looks just thirty. Her face shows no hint of the passing of time; in fact, time seems only to have magnified her unique, charismatic aura of maturity.

“Are you married?” These words would sound rude coming out of anyone’s mouth, but when she says it, it comes out casual and unafflicted.

Yan Kongshan paused for a moment, then answers, “No.”

“You should.” She turns around, eyes briefly stopping on me for a second before turning in Yan Wanqiu’s direction, then continues, “She needs a woman in her life to guide her.”

XOt4Pn

At last, Yan Kongshan’s calm facade seems to crack, showing a flicker of his displeasure. But his tone is controlled when he replies, “It’s none of your concern.”

In the canopy above them, cicadas sing loudly among the intertwining branches.

On Jiao Changyue’s arm is an impressively large leather bag. Her high heels, Western trousers, and silver coat gives her an especially valiant appearance.

“Then I wish you the best of luck finding your other half as soon as possible.” She seems to sense Yan Kongshan’s aversion, but nevertheless, her voice remains warm and tolerant. “My driver is waiting for me, so I’ll be on my way now.” She walks off with huge steps, not turning around to say goodbye. kfJ9jB

Yan Kongshan stands still for a moment, then approaches me and Yan Wanqiu as if the entire exchange just now didn’t happen at all. “Let’s go,” he says, “it’s almost time for our appointment.”

When Yan Wanqiu goes to talk with her therapist, we settle ourselves on the bench out in the hallway to wait for her.

I stare at an educational poster hanging on the white wall across from us, then suddenly ask, “The reason you don’t believe in love, is it because of her?”

The man beside me doesn’t reply for a long time. Eventually, I can’t resist turning to look at him, only to find that he’s leaned back, head against the wall, with his eyes closed. So he’s asleep. KPXJFp

Alright then.

I purse my lips, about to turn away, but then the man I thought was sleeping speaks up. “Half and half, I suppose.” Before I can inquire further, he adds, “She and Ding Baizhou, each of them are half the reason why.”

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

“She was my senior, my mentor, my guide. We used to have the same dreams. I thought I was a part of her life, but actually I was just a passing traveler.” He opens his eyes and twists his mouth into a sneer. “Love is always the first thing that’s sacrificed when faced with reality and ideas split. Since that’s so, it’s better to live without it to begin with.”

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Yan Kongshan darts a look at me. “You think a lot for someone so young.”

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Resisting the urge to let out a sigh, I copy him and lean my head against the wall, shutting my eyes. “Not that much.”

If love could be controlled, I would choose not to be invested so deeply the first time I ever liked someone. iklNsd

After Yan Wanqiu’s therapy session is over, we eat a simple meal somewhere near the hospital, and in the afternoon, Yan Kongshan sends me to Mum’s as we agreed. Her new house isn’t too far from the hospital, and drive takes us only half an hour. Yan Kongshan and Yan Wanqiu wait downstairs while I go up.

I had tried guessing what Mum plans on giving me, even entertaining the idea that she’d give me a huge red envelope to use as my living expenses. After all, she called me over all this way.

But when I finally go into the house and she brings me slippers to change into, she comes jubilantly out of the guest bedroom with a duvet. Apparently, her husband got it from work a few days ago and she wants me to use it when I move into university.

So she wanted me to travel four hours roundtrip to give me a duvet. I want to tell her that Grandpa has already prepared things like blankets, mosquito nets, and toiletries for me. He’s so diligent he even got me a drinking bottle. I also want to tell her that the duvet is too large and thick for a dormitory bed that’s less than a metre wide, that in September, cooling fans are still needed. aYty8v

“You won’t find such a top grade duvet on the island, look. It’s a hundred percent goose down.”

She looks so excited that I don’t have the heart to say anything. At the very least, she’s genuinely happy to see me.

“It’s great, thank Uncle for me.” I take the duvet from her, and don’t know what else to say. Soon, the two of us descend into an awkward silence, neither knowing what to talk about.

Technically speaking, she accompanied a lot more than my dad ever did, and after their divorce I always lived with her, so we shouldn’t be as distant as we are. But somehow, both of us find it difficult to converse after only two months apart. McZj1h

“Mian Mian, are you doing well?” She looks nervous. I assume it’s because in the last couple months, she’s only called three times.

She hadn’t really asked me to come to get a duvet, but because she was concerned about me.

“I really like Green Plum Island, and Grandpa takes care of me well,” I reply. “You don’t have to worry about me, I can take care of myself.”

At that, Mum’s mood value starts decreasing and she looks even more guilty. “Say, do you want to stay for dinner? How about I make your favourite roast duck?” NF8ntL

In truth, I sympathise with her. Finding someone after being single for so long, it’s only natural that during this honeymoon period all they can think about is each other, leaving no room for anyone else. And I never once thought of moving to Green Plum Island as being abandoned by my mother; frankly, staying with her would have been more uncomfortable.

I shake my head. “My friend’s waiting for me, so maybe next time.”

“I see…” She looks upset.

I place the duvet to the side and go up to hug her. “I’m really doing fine,” I assure her, “thanks for letting me go live with Grandpa.” jGcn0l

And really, the past two months have been happier than the last two years added together.

When I let go of her, Mum’s eyes are red and her voice is a bit choked when she speaks. “Then next time. Once school starts, come whenever you want. I’ll always welcome you.”

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I let out a hum of agreement, smiling and nodding. Then I pick up the duvet and bid her goodbye.

By the time we’re back on the island, it’s nearly dinnertime. When I jump off the car in front of the house, Yan Kongshan suddenly calls out saying that it’s been an exhausting day so he wants to turn in early for the night. It takes me a while to figure out that he’s subtly implying that I shouldn’t go visit him later. dExOM

“Right, I understand,” I say, nodding, somewhat bashfully.

I watch his car go off towards his own house, desolately thinking to myself: As expected, Jiao Changyue affected him more than he let on.

Since I can’t go to Yan Kongshan’s in the evening, I ride Tortoise King to Sun Rui’s. A dense forest of fruit trees line the back of her house, and tonight it’s her duty to keep watch over them, so I end up going into the mountain to look for her in the bamboo hut, which is situated on a platform three metres off the ground and is only accessible via a ladder. Beneath the platform sits a giant German shepherd.

I find Sun Rui there, lying on a mat looking at her phone, her legs swinging back and forth. She catches sight of me and sits up. “Yu Mian, what brings you here?” 8oSsKj

“You have any alcohol?” I ask her.

She observes me, then digs out a bottle of transparent liquid. Little green plums float around in the substance. “What about my dad’s handmade green plum wine?”

Whatever, I think. Any wine that can get you drunk is good wine. I nod frenetically, grabbing the bottle for her and downing three large gulps in one go.

“Hey! This is baijiu, take it easy.” Sun Rui sits cross-legged in front of me, shocked. She reaches to grab a bag of squid jerky and tosses it to me. “What’s going on with you?” q1FERL

I wipe my mouth. The wine turns into fire, tunneling straight down to my stomach and burning everything in its path. “How are you doing with Wen Ying?”

“I think he’s interested in me.” She props a hand against her cheek and smiles all saccharine sweet. “I’m almost there.”

“Nice,” I reply enviously. “I think I’m about to be heartbroken.”

Green plum baijiu is extremely potent, high in alcohol content. It’s easy to get drunk off it. Even though I’ve only downed three mouthfuls, my head is already throbbing, and my face starts to burn. mTuxk5

“What? You have someone you like?” Sun Rui asks, startled. “Who?”

I grip the wine bottle in my hands, rolling it around on the mat. All of a sudden, I don’t want to keep it a secret anymore.

Sun Rui once said, “If you only have a penis going for you and you suck at everything else, it’s better to say that you’re not a match for your penis than that it’s a reckless waste of a blessing from the heavens.”

I don’t think someone who let words like that come out of her mouth would find me disgusting. Would she? Screw it. I think I’ll suffocate if I have to keep it a secret any longer. Even if she despised me, she would at least let me finish talking. jB6IbU

“Yan Kongshan.” His name comes out quietly.

The air turns static; Sun Rui looks dumbfounded.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

The burning alcohol gives me the courage to sneak a glance up at her.

Her brows are bunched up. “You decided to start with one of the highest difficulty?” mjbQrB

“…” Is that even the point?

Sun Rui blinks, coming back to her senses. Then all of a sudden, she nearly leaps into the air. “Oh my gosh, Yu Mian, you like men?”

Other than surprise, she doesn’t appear to have any other expression, so I slowly relax. “Yeah, I like men.” I bob my head up and down. “But he doesn’t.”

“No wonder you refused to be my boyfriend,” she mutters to herself. She slaps her chest affirmatively, swearing, “Don’t worry, I’ll keep this a secret!” yjTokr

She listens as I spill everything, all my complicated feelings of unrequited love, out to her. It’s past midnight by the time I finish, and we’ve emptied the bag of squid jerky.

Sun Rui advises me to be openminded. “You know, there are plenty of fish in the sea. You can find someone else.”

Empty wine bottle in hand, my tongue starts stumbling over words. “No, I just… just want him!”

In the early hours of the morning, I fumble my way haphazardly down from the bamboo hut, hollering about going home. Sun Rui rushes down to stop me, saying that it’s too dangerous to go home alone and that she’ll go with me. eOKr4U

I cling onto one of the poles supporting the bamboo platform and for some reason, start crying. “No! Let me go home by myself, I want to go home alone!” I wail.

Sun Rui whispers to me consolingly, agreeing, but eventually manages to go get her dad. We head out on two motorbikes; Sun Rui on one, me and her dad on the other, and the two of them deliver me to my house. Sun Rui parks Tortoise King into the yard, then digs into my pockets for my keys and guides me into the house.

Grandpa has long gone off to bed. Not even the sound of thunder is going to wake him. I stumble and trip my way up the stairs. The window in my bedroom is open. I walk towards it with hurried steps, then stare out at the neighbouring yard in a daze.

“This is so hard…” 81dB7x

I can’t seem to control the words coming out of my mouth, but my mind is sober enough. The alcohol gets into my head, unleashing the restraint I usually have on my emotions.

Without a second thought, I swivel around and bolt down the stairs, out the front door, and keep going until I’m in front of Yan Kongshan’s house, ringing his doorbell.

I smile stupidly at him when he appears behind the open door. “Yu Mian?”

“Why aren’t you into me?!” I cry, lunging into his chest and clinging onto his waist. o1L48d