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Guide on How to Fail at Online DatingCh68 - You have obtained the title of “Yearning For’s Wife.”

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Edited by Divetus

Jing Huan sat on the bench beside the basketball court and almost got hit by a basketball. LnIRWh

Fortunately, Gao Zixiang’s speed was quick and he stepped forward to intercept the ball. Then, he turned to Lu Wenhao and said, “Be careful. I’ll be the only one living in the dormitory if you really hit him.”

Lu Wenhao was panting but managed to say, “Don’t worry, even if I was killed by Huanhuan and turned into a ghost, I would remember the way back to the dorms.”

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Jing Huan came back to attention, and his face was calm. “Today is a very good day, don’t keep talking on and on about ghosts and gods.”

“A very good day?” Gao Zixiang thought about it for a long time with furrowed brows. He made sure that today wasn’t some holiday before he asked, “Why today?” Ve1GFM

“On October 17 of the lunar calendar, no ground should be broken, and marriage is advisable.” Jing Huan finished, got up from the bench and clapped the dust off of his palms. “I’m going back.”

“Don’t ah, I still want to have a basketball match with the guys next door.” Gao Zixiang hurriedly called out to him. “Go back after the match, there’s no homework to do today anyway.”

Jing Huan shook his head. “Have things to do.”

Lu Wenhao was already used to it. “What, hurrying back again to watch the game?” gqSI2e

Jing Huan frowned and answered honestly, “Not today.”

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If I said it, you might not believe it.

Daddy is rushing back to get married.

On the way home, Jing Huan couldn’t help but think about what had happened last night. ysaFt5

When Yearning For asked him when he wanted to get married, he was solidly speechless for the next ten seconds.

Then… Yearning For directly dragged him to Old Moon Temple.

When he saw the line “Are you willing to become husband and wife with Yearning For?” appear in the game, he almost knocked his glass of water over.

He clicked “Not Willing.” I k2St

Are you joking? He had chased after him for several months, not leaving himself any face, in order to make Yearning For lose face and confine himself to becoming a hermit for the rest of his life.

I finally managed to coax you into my hands and you want me to marry you at five in the morning?

There are no guests here at all, are we just getting married with the air as the witness, huh?!

So he said politely, that since this was his first time getting married in-game, he didn’t want to do so in such a cursory way, making his tone sound as wronged as necessary. GxYZS7

After listening, Yearning For was silent for a moment and then simply said that he understood.

As he thought about it again right now, Jing Huan still didn’t think the whole thing was actually real.

Last night, he had just casually said that sentence, not actually wanting to get married.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

But Yearning For had actually agreed. VvoNmT

How come Yearning For had just agreed like that!

… Why did Yearning For agree?!

No matter how Jing Huan thought it through, he couldn’t figure it out.

It couldn’t be that he had said something last night that had greatly moved that slag man’s heart??? 9n2LCr

After a long time, he still hadn’t reached any conclusions, so Jing Huan resolutely gave up and took out his cellphone to send some messages.

Xiang Huaizhi was taking a bath when he heard the vibration of his cell phone. He stopped, turned around, wiped his hands dry on a towel, then woke up his phone.

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Xiao Jing ya: Gege (/ / / V / / /) your bride has gotten out of classss.

Xiang Huaizhi’s eyes lingered on those two words, and it took a long time for him to reply. 7Mt5rb

Xiang: En.

Xiao Jing ya: What is my bridegroom doing! [rubs hands]

Xiang: Taking a bath.

Xiao Jing ya: [blushing] Then, finish taking it first! I’ll be home in a minute. Sut ic

Xiang Huaizhi finished bathing and came out, the towel loose on his shoulder, and the ends of his hair dripping.

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He immediately raised one hand to the towel to wipe at his hair and moved the other hand to reply to messages. When he raised his eyes, he just happened to see Lu Hang minimize the page he was looking at in panic.

A second before it minimized, Xiang Huaizhi saw a familiar game scene.

He walked to Lu Hang’s side. “What are you looking at?” UxWrN9

Lu Hang said at once, “Nothing, just looking at some gossip on the forums!”

Xiang Huaizhi’s brow furrowed a little. “My gossip?”

“…” Lu Hang coughed, “How could I?”

Xiang Huaizhi said clearly, “Open it up and let me see.” Ql G6y

Lu Hang hesitated before finally opening up the web page.

Xiang Huaizhi was right. The main point of the post was a screenshot of him and Jing Huan in the game. They were in a team and standing in front of Yuelao, one in front, and one behind, both very close.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Xiang Huaizhi moved the mouse to scroll through it and the more he scrolled, the more his face sank.

Oe Ljcu tjvc’a yffc islcu; cb bcf kjr ubrrlqlcu jybea tlw. YbJedH

Dfmjerf atgbeutbea atf fcalgf qbra, fnfgsbcf kjr wbmxlcu Wljb Kljcplcu.

4L: How are these two people at Old Moon Temple? It can’t be that they’re planning to get married ba? Xiao Tianjing has finally attacked and seized Yearning For???

5O: Caajmxfv jcv rflhfv ws jrr, atfs’gf cba wjgglfv. Wljb Kljcplcu lr jikjsr qgbqbrlcu ab tlw fnfgs rlcuif vjs, rtf’r erfv ab la.

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11O: Qjrc’a la ilxf P rjlv, tbk mjc j sbecu ijvs pera tjnf cb ybaabw ilcf. Mbg atf rjxf bo j wjc, rtf vbfrc’a tjnf j ilmx bo rtjwf. Tbe mjc afii klat j uijcmf atja tfg ojwlis fvemjalbc lrc’a ubbv. jY7rod

Speeches like this had piled up to more than 60 comments.

Lu Hang could obviously feel that person next to him was angry and comforted him. “Aiya, the forum is always like this, it’s not like you didn’t already know. There’s no need to take it seriously.”

Xiang Huaizhi stood up straight, rubbing at his hair a bit more vigorously than before. “The forum has always talked about them like that?”

Lu Hang was stunned. After a while, he realized who “them” was referring to. “Not all of them, of course. There’s still some people who have said other things.” 89EgFq

Xiang Huaizhi asked, “What else have they said?”

“They said…” Lu Hang faltered.

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Xiang Huaizhi instantly understood and didn’t ask anymore, turning back to the computer.

He had spent a lot of gold coins in the exchange this morning. At this time, his account was full of silver. No matter what server he was in, he could still make it to the top of the rich list. 7d3U8F

“Lu Hang.” He called out.

Lu Hang typed out another line in his friend chat, “Hm?”

“Apart from the wedding banquet, wedding sedan chair, and fireworks,” Xiang Huaizhi asked in a normal tone, “What other things can be done?”

“You’re asking the right person!” Lu Hang rolled up his sleeves and was ready to give him a good long explanation. The words were about to leave his mouth when he suddenly felt that something was wrong. VU97Wl

He turned his head slowly, his face full of amazement. “Wait a sec… You, why are you asking about this?”

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*

As soon as Jing Huan logged in, his friend’s notification flashed.

[Friend] Yearning For: Wait for me there. MJZ0od

Very soon, Yearning For appeared at his side.

After Jing Huan entered his team, he had just wanted to greet him with a coquettish voice.

[Yearning For gave you Jasper Hairpin X1]

Jing Huan opened it and was surprised. BcbYa0

Purple equipment. But also, it was the highest level of purple equipment with a market price, at lowest, hovering around five figures.

“Gege?” He asked blankly, “What is this for…”

Xiang Huaizhi’s words were concise and comprehensive. “Betrothal present.”

“…” adJRru

Jing Huan felt a bit stiff at the moment.

First, the equipment was really expensive. Second, he hadn’t actually prepared a dowry.

Xiang Huaizhi seemed to have guessed his thoughts. “Just a bargain bought while walking around a bit in the streets.”

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Fuck. POWTiq

Jing Huan’s guilt over not even having lifted a pitiful little finger over wedding arrangements instantly disappeared.

From a player’s vendor stall in-game the most expensive items could only be priced at 999 gold. Higher priced items could only be placed on the exchange, with handling fees going to NCH.

If this item was bought while walking in the streets, it was a real bargain.

“Thank you, Gege, but… I still haven’t had time to prepare my dowry.” 57 JVR

Feeling that he hadn’t properly controlled his tone, Jing Huan sent out a lot of crying emoticons into the game.

Xiang Huaizhi responded, “No need, as long as you click agree.”

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While talking, they had already arrived at the Old Moon temple.

Standing in front of Yuelao again, Jing Huan still felt that the whole thing seemed a bit unreal. FsS3CX

He unconsciously held his breath and had already made himself ready in his heart.

But the Yuelao’s dialog box didn’t pop up, and the voice channel was quiet.

Jing Huan’s heart was pounding—It’s over, the slag man suddenly regretting everything ba?

He couldn’t help licking his lips. When he was just about to ask, a WeChat notification popped up in the lower right-hand corner. 5BMgd8

Yearning For: I’m getting married at five o’clock. Please come and celebrate with us if you’re free, thank you.

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As soon as this message went out, the originally lively guild group chat fell into silence.

Who knew how long it took before there was finally a response.

Don’t Ask when I’ll Return: What… I’ll just go ahead and ask haha…God Xiang, who are you marrying?? Fju4s

Xiao Tianjing: It seems to be Xiao Tianjing. (*°▽°*)

Seize Every Minute: You don’t rush to answer!!!

Yearning For: It’s really Xiao Tianjing.

Seize Every Minute: …. TyEtvY

Love is For You to Eat: …..

Peachy Fate: …..

Xiao Tianjing: ^▽^

After a few minutes, the guild group chat calmed down. F3mGJb

To be honest, since Xiao Tianjing had joined their guild, people’s ability to just accept things had improved a lot.

The Girl in my Heart: Congratulations, congratulations, nearly there now!

Don’t Ask when I’ll Return: Can you wait for me, we’re still doing instances, already at the last Boss!

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Chunxiao: Congratulations. bJi2Ow

Qiufeng: Congratulations. [crying]

Before long, the Old Moon Temple was full of people.

[World] Floating Down: A lot of people are standing in Old Moon Temple ah? What’s going on?

[World] Buying You Oranges: I see it too. It seems that they are all from Idle Pavilion; are there some guild members getting married today? rNSjfR

[World] I Have a Cat Yay: It’s so crowded, I can’t really see anyone, so who’s getting married? The event is so big that even Chunxiao and Regardless of Lovesickness are here.

When a couple gets married, Yuelao will sprinkle wedding candies all over the Old Moon Temple to celebrate. Opening wedding candies could allow players to gain experience and game money. Although the amount was small, it was still better than nothing.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

In addition, the discussion in the world was busy and noisy. In a short time, the idle players who had nothing to do rushed over to the temple. In a moment, the Old Moon Temple was packed full of people and even Yuelao had been covered up by all the players around him.

It was the first time Jing Huan saw such a grand occasion. vlx6Ip

Maybe it was because there were too many people, but he actually felt a little nervous.

This was just a damn… It was just a marriage, how was it even more overblown than a weekend event?!

At five o’clock sharp, the dialog box popped up.

[Are you willing to become husband and wife with Yearning For? Yes, No. ] XBFSp3

Jing Huan gritted his teeth and thought, it was you who made such a big wedding by yourself.

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Whenever you’ve become a huge disgrace in the entire server, you can’t blame me.

[Current] Don’t Ask when I’ll Return: Who fucking stepped on my foot!!

[Current] Peachy Fate: Stop acting up, OK? cKtLgf

[Current] Ji Xiaonian: Who is going to get married? Why is everyone all crowded around here?

[Current] Scheming Tonight to Get X: Qiufeng, right? I’m willing to also get married on the spot! Looking for a completely leveled up pocket healer to play together with!

[Current] Butterfly: Selling a seventh level crystal! Selling two Chaos Stones! If you need a shopkeeper, message me. [wave]

[Yuelao: Congratulations to Yearning For and Xiao
Tianjing, who have become the 9199th couple in the game!] nPcNLb

[Current] Butterfly: ????

[Current] Ji Xiaonian: ?!??

[Current] Qiaoyao: Holy, shit???

[Current] I Love XX: ??? LTukQW

[Yuelao: The wedding has started—the bridegroom and the bride will pay a visit to all the distinguished guests—]

[Yuelao: First, bow to the heavens and the earth. [heart] ]

Jing Huan watched himself and Yearning For being sent to the wedding platform by the system. They were both wearing wedding clothes and couldn’t walk away or send messages before the wedding rites were finished.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Yuelao’s words had been completely covered up by the players’ dialog boxes. At a glance, Jing Huan saw a mass of question marks and exclamation points. cXsp1j

This was his first time getting married in the game. Although the person getting married wasn’t actually him, he still felt nervous.

The kind of nervous where his hands were sweating and his heart kept pounding.

“Don’t leave the team after the wedding.” Yearning For’s voice came out from his earphone, his tone the same as usual. People who didn’t know any better would think they were doing instances, not getting married.

Damn it. cw78m

As expected, the experienced slag man really was calmer than him.

Seeing that the other side was extremely calm, Jing Huan felt defeated.

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Just… It made him seem inferior.

But at least on the surface, he couldn’t lose, Jing Huan thought. R8adUM

So he answered, “Okay.”

Then, he chewed on his lips, holding back his shame, and called out with a big red face, “Hus…band.”

The voice was very small, but Xiang Huaizhi heard it.

It wasn’t until the wedding procession was almost over that he whispered, “En.” hx3WGv

The players in the game had just recovered from the shock and were about to congratulate the new couple when a dazzling megaphone came out.

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[Megaphone] It’s a Side Account, What About It: A slag man and a sl*t girl, perfect match, hahaha!

[Megaphone] It’s a Side Account, What About It: Even this kind of slag man, you crazily propose to. Xiao Tianjing, you’re really not that picky~

[Megaphone] It’s a Side Account, What About It: Illusion Server’s number one shameless couple has been born! 0sQrAm

As the name suggested, it was a level 10 side account.

The melon eaters burst into a frenzy, all of them sending out surprised emoticons.

But the megaphones didn’t last for long.

[Megaphone] Chunxiao: Congratulations on getting married, wishing you a harmonious relationship lasting one hundred years. uPmhWN

[Megaphone] Qiufeng: Congratulations on getting married, wishing you a harmonious relationship lasting one hundred years.

[Megaphone] Love is For You to Eat: Congratulations on getting married, wishing you a harmonious relationship lasting one hundred years.

[Megaphone] Long Road Ahead: Congratulations on getting married, wishing you a harmonious relationship lasting one hundred years, this single dog is beating a retreat!

All the people in Idle Pavilion started to fire off megaphones. Once that side account appeared, it was promptly ejected and wasn’t heard from again. rXK8vk

Jing Huan was moved.

While he was moved, he also sprinkled a hundred words into the chatbox, ready to teach that side account a lesson once the wedding was over.

Two minutes later, when the wedding was over, Jing Huan was about to hit enter——

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[Megaphone] Yearning For: Solemn Declaration: Because I wasn’t well, this account of Yearning For was handed over to a booster in March of this year, and it wasn’t formally retrieved until the end of August. What happened during this period of time has nothing to do with me. I was willing and promised to compensate the other players for the economic losses caused by this account during the time the booster was in control of it. I have a backup of the chat records with the booster, and I will post them to the forum later. ONZyaD

[Megaphone] Yearning For: In addition, I was the one who proposed to Xiao Tianjing.

The whole server was shocked when the megaphone came out.

The world channel immediately boiled over, and it was hard to even read any of the words in the chat.

Jing Huan sat in front of the computer as if frozen, blankly reading the megaphone word by word, back and forth, over and over again until he had read it ten times. FO31Rf

He recognized every word.

But he didn’t understand what it all meant.

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When his friend’s message lit up, he reflexively opened it——

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: Wow wow wow!! I had said before, that God Xiang now and the way he was before was like two different people!!! Congratulations ah! This time I’m sincerely congratulating you!! VsXANg

Jing Huan closed the dialog box. His lips were numb and his mind was blank.

[Yuelao: The ceremony is over! Off to the bridal chamber now! ]

[You have obtained the title of “Yearning For’s Wife.” ]

Looking at this title, Jing Huan, with a stiff expression, slowly raised his hand—and pinched himself hard. 5Ex7o1

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Juurensha: Ohhhhh Huanhuan, do you feel bad now?

Divi: It went from 0 to 100 real fast. What will you do Huanhuan?

By sylviangatimo of Kiss Kiss Fish Fish: GwaKFo

kiss kiss fish fish

By innbray:

xtj

gege ch2M70

Qiufeng and Chichi:
qiufeng and chichi

And by tsubame:

comic strip

character sheet 5aZAEj

And we have a fanart page!

And be sure to support the raws!

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Translator's Note

like a raider

Translator's Note

XHZ used he

Translator's Note

while Lu Hang assumes he means she

Translator's Note

literally explosive level

Translator's Note

specialized just for you healer

Translator's Note

peanut gallery

Translator's Note

…it’s a lot shorter in Chinese

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38 comments

  1. [This was just a damn… It was just a marriage, how was it even more overblown than a weekend event?!]

    It’s a once-in-lifetime event ah!!!!

  2. screams Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~

    THEY’RE MARRIED!!! I AM SO HAPPY!!!

    But also rip Huanhuan… :3

    Thanks for the chapter~ ( ^ ♡ ^ )/

  3. That feeling when you wanted to get revenge on a scum but then you both started to fall in love and turns out he’s not a scum after all, but you already kind of like him and don’t want to hurt him, but you’re a guy and (you think) he’s straight and you’re already married…. drama~

  4. Finally 🙌🎊🎊🎊🎊🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰✨✨✨✨✨

  5. “and then Yearning For was banned for account sharing and broadcasting it” THE END.

    jkjk. Wonder how Huanhuan is going to act now? Continue until an opportune time to get the hell out? Continue until XH gets impatient and goes for him irl too?

  6. I’m wondering if the next chap will be Huanhuan’s next move or Xiang Huaizhi going full offensive in this relationship and start his move offline? I hope both things happen 🤭

    this fattened up (by dogfood) reader is asking for guidance 🙏 : is there a cliff beyond this happy road? so that i can prepare a parachute to ease the fall

    (especially since I’ve been reading too much angst lately, especially by authors who give a filling carrot followed closely by a strong whack of a stick (sometimes more like a metal bat), )

    Thank you for this wonderful treat! 💕

      • Oh.. Thank you so much, Juurensha! 💕💕

        this news of mass release gave me hope for the future!

        Also, please pardon my overly dramatic tone, i tend to write this way when i’m ecstatic…. Goodness, does this chapter make me happy! Thank you so much once again!

  7. One word: Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!❤️😍💞😅😂😭💝💖💓💕❣️✨

    Xiao Jin, isn’t this good for you. Now you can properly fall in love with him.

    Recognise the love first ba. ♡(ӦvӦ。)

  8. Ah… I’m so t hat was XHZ cleared the misunderstanding before Huanhuan had time to do something (even more) stupid! Can’t wait to read the next chapters!!

  9. That shy “Husband” by Huanhuan killed me. XHZ dropping the bomb about the truth after his wedding is epic level cheat. Huanhuan brain is mushed. RIP

    Thank you Juu and Divi! Love you guys and love the couple aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  10. Wait wait! If XHZ is already revealing that then that would also means he’ll clear up his name as a slag man right? Then isnt he afraid of XTJ backing away from him?! (Cause “she” likes bad guys) And so XTJ can use that to break things off with him since XHZ is innocent XD

  11. Xiang-ge revealing the truth behind his slag self thus implying the only person he got married to and even proposed to is XTJ is so sweet >♡<

    And really excited to see Huan Huan’s next move!! xD

    Thanks for the chapter! 🙂

  12. Awwwww they’re married! Don’t feel bad, Huanhuan. It wasn’t your fault you misunderstood Yearning For. On the contrary, you can help Xiang beat up that booster. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 i feel happy that they’re now married and Xiang made that declaration! 😍😍😍😍😍😍 i feel sad on Huanhuan’s side, though. I just hope Huanhuan won’t feel too down because he misunderstood Yearning For.

    P.S.: i am waiting when Xiang would confess to Huanhuan that he’s Yearning For, and also of his feelings! 😍😍😍😍😍 can we see a kiss next chapter – 69? 😂😂😂😂

  13. Oh my god Huanhuan… What are you going to do? How will you avenge your cousin now? Will you keep playing the game now that your purpose is gone? Will you genuinely allow yourself to start liking Yearning For? What will you doooooo I can’t wait to find out!Thank you so much for the translations <3

  14. Xiang Huaizhi doesn’t want to enter the bridal chamber keeping secrets, huh? Huanhuan, you can’t run away now… Be a proper wife.

    Thanks for the chapter!

  15. Xiang Ge and Xiao Tian Jing got married !!

    Happy Marriage and Congratulations ! 😆😊 now i hope there would be more progress from here on out. BTW loved that shock expression of Jing Huan at the end ❤

    Thanks for thr translation!