179.
I told my friend that I was dating a great guy and that I was in the midst of thinking about breaking up.
My friend sent me back a long line of dot dot dots.
He probably wanted to ask if I was crazy, but then remembered that I really was crazy, so then he didn’t know what to say.
After a while, his reply came.
Friend: don’t do anything stupid yet
Friend: first
Friend: tell me what happened, ok?
Me: I’ve got a boyfriend and then I realized that I don’t know why we’re dating each other
Once again, my friend didn’t say anything for a long time. He was probably trying his hardest to try to understand my world.
And then he replied, when he couldn’t figure it out.
Friend: how do you want to date?
Friend: what type of dating would have meaning?
I don’t know either, it’s not like I can have kids. And obviously, Xue Yaozu can’t either. Us being together is just a case of taking care of humankind’s natural urges to get a partner.
Friend: so what more do you want to do?
I don’t know! I don’t know what I want to do, what I can do, what I should do, where I came from, where I’ll go, why I’m alive or why I’ll die!!
180.
My friend changed the topic.
Friend: did you really go see a doctor?
Friend: I’ve already said that going to see a doctor isn’t reliable
Me: not yet, I’m still on the waiting list
Friend: didn’t you say that you’d already gotten off the waiting list and had gotten an appointment?
Me: I was rash and cancelled it
Friend: sigh, you’ve been rash so many times
It’s true that I’ve been rash many times already, but I just can’t control myself.
Actually, this stupid illness is actually pretty good, I can always find an excuse for myself. I can just say that it’s all the fault of the illness, it’s not my fault, I’m just a victim.
However, this doesn’t have that much use. After all, I’m the only one who can push off the responsibility like this, other people will just take me as a crazy person.
181.
Friend: who is it?
Friend: do I know them?
Me: maybe I’ll tell you later, we’re going to break up anyways
Friend: are you really going to break up because of such a ridiculous reason?
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Qtja firf rtbeiv P vb? P pera vbc’a tjnf atf gluta offilcu!
Zs oglfcv kjr jybea ab ub mgjhs.
Friend: what the fuck type of feeling do you want, your highness?!
I don’t know either, god knows.
P jrxfv tlw ktja la kjr ilxf ktfc tf kjr vjalcu. Ktfc tf kjr eqrfa, jcv jrxfv wf lo P kjr wbmxlcu tlr rajaer jr j rlcuif nlgulc rlcmf ylgat.
It really wasn’t on purpose.
I then asked him if he had anyone he liked, he said that he did. And then he sent me a picture of a donghua character.
I said it’s not like I discriminate against donghua characters, but at least don’t send me a picture of a panda character. This really wasn’t a person, okay. I just have a mental illness, it’s not like I’ve completely lost my mind.
He asked me if I looked down on pandas and I replied that that wasn’t it, I just looked down on him. He then asked me, didn’t I think pandas were cute? I said it’s true that they are cute but I just can’t accept that kind of shocking taboo relationship. If that kind of thing happened in my family, then he would be beaten to death and then buried in a well by my big brother. And if it happened outside, then he might be detained by the government administration that manages such matters and directly executed by firing squad.
After that he looked for an eternity and sent over a picture of a human dongman character.
I asked him if he had any living people, someone who knew him, and told him not to send pictures of celebrities.
He hahaha’d and said are you joking? If I had someone I liked that was a living being, would I still be single?
I calmly told him to wake up. There wasn’t a direct correlation between those two things.
182.
He thought about it for an eternity, then remembered his tablemate from middle school.
That tablemate I know too, she was the prettiest girl in class.
So then I just asked him what types of thoughts he had about having a crush on the class idol. He said what thoughts could he have, there was only vanity. After all, she was really pretty and what’s more, her grades were good, if he dated her then that’d make him seem better and was a thing he could be proud of.
No wonder he’s been and still is single.
I don’t want to mind him anymore.
I feel like he really will only have a hope of finding a partner through marriage meetings. And it’d have to be with great luck, for him to find someone who’s willing to sacrifice themselves to do charity work.
He doesn’t want to pay attention to me either anymore.
183.
Both of us took some time to calm down.
Friend: no more joking
Friend: I’m serious now
Friend: try and reconsider it yourself
Friend: although I don’t know what type of relationship you want, you’ve at least got to separate reality from movies
You’re asking me, a main character in a Danmei novel–and the main male protagonist at that, to be more realistic? Isn’t that stupid?
Friend: huh?
I said nothing, it’s just that a message coming from the universe appeared in my head.
He sincerely went to great pains to try to give me advice.
Friend: you should exercise more.
I told him I had exercised a lot recently.
He didn’t believe me.
Whatever, it’s not like I can change that. Believe it or not then.
184.
Even though it was really late, Xue Yaozu didn’t come home. He just sent me a message saying he wasn’t coming back.
I said oh.
How dull.
My troublemaking bone started itching again. After itching for half a night, I finally couldn’t resist it any longer and sent him a message.
Me: don’t you think that the two of us have progressed too quickly?
And then I speedily retracted it.
He replied with a string of dot dot dots.
What is he doing, not sleeping so late at night and playing with his phone?
I nervously gripped my phone.
After a few seconds, he replied.
Xue Yaozu: maybe for you it’s a little fast
Me: what do you mean?
Xue Yaozu: but to me
Xue Yaozu: it’s a long-held dream that came true
Me: ……
185.
Do you guys know why a stutterer can have one boyfriend or two boyfriends now?
Mainly, the blackboard was for my friend and my big brother to see.
186.
Xue Yaozu: why did you suddenly think of this?
Me: I don’t know
Me: I just feel like it’s weird
Xue Yaozu: what part is weird?
Well, I couldn’t really say what exactly either, it’s just that it feels like there’s not much point to it all. We just randomly started dating, it’s as if me and him are very easy or something.
Xue Yaozu: it’s not random, we went to pray at the shrine
So? I asked.
Xue Yaozu: so when we were praying at the shrine
Xue Yaozu: I prayed that you would like me
Xue Yaozu: and it came true
That’s the question, why did I just randomly like him?
It just feels like when I was very lonely, pitiful and bereft; a gay guy appeared and so I veeery randomly started dating that gay guy. Let’s put it another way, if my friend was gay then would I have dated my friend?
Xue Yaozu:………
He didn’t speak for a long, long time. Perhaps he didn’t know what to say.
Suddenly I felt extremely lonely, pitiful and bereft.
My little brother and my little sister have their own little world, and everyone else also has their own little world, but I don’t.
Xue Yaozu: you do, and that’s me
This failed to placate me, because I clearly know that I don’t.
187.
Fuck, when will my turn come?
Rinrin: Sorry people, the original’s texting came out a little weirdly, but I think it’s ok? Though if y’all really don’t like it I can change it.
so when we were praying at the shrine I prayed that you would like me, and it came true
Ahhhh! When I read this line originally it didn’t hit as hard, but now it seems even cuter
XYZ you smooth stutterbug you
BOI WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T- HE LEGIT FOUGHT WITH YOUR BROTHER- HE’S OBVIOUSLY VERY REAL DAMN ITTT
THANK YOH FOR THE CHAPER😭😭💜
hhhhh right????!! I thought he knew XYZ was real after the big brother confrontation….but no…..
Glad you liked it and got to it so quick!
also confused abt it here ಠ_ಠ
He probably forgot
aish, I really like this story and the ML is adorable.
thanks for the chapter <3
He really is, ain’t he?(*≧▽≦)
Glad you enjoyed it (and thanks for commenting regularly!)!
Thanks for your hard work!
Is this part a typo? – “ Friend: I’ve already said that going to see a doctor isn’t reliable” (Is this right? Is his friend not wanting him to go to the doctor?)
yea, it’s not a typo
the friend, if you remember from earlier chapters, has always been against RYG going to the doctor
(he thinks RYG just needs to take some time to relax and other stuff, instead of taking medication)
I thought he already confirmed ML’s existence? You precious boi should know you deserve happiness too. Don’t always deny it 😭😭😭
Thanks for the chapter <3
Someone just needs to give this boi a hug
XYZ may stutter at talking but not at flirting 😎
d(･∀･○) d(･∀･○). d(･∀･○)
Punctuation would be a great help in determining what was conveyed as a message, and what is portrayed as thought alone.