Fantasy FarmCh64 - A surprise

translator: baumkuchen

Thinking about it now, it had already been a very long time since Lu Qingjiu had properly celebrated his birthday. Even though the company would keep track of employee birthdays and hold a celebration, it wouldn’t be more than sending a small gift and having everyone cut a cake together. Because of how busy he was with work, every time, by the time Lu Qingjiu would remember his birthday, it wouldn’t be that his birthday hadn’t arrived yet, but rather his birthday would already be over. tGRDbM

Breakfast that morning had been prepared by the three of them. It was a bowl of longevity noodles. From how it looked, it seemed to be no different than other such noodles. There were even three shiny, golden fried eggs draped across it.

Lu Qingjiu sat down at the table, across from him Zhu Miaomiao and Yin Xun’s expectant gazes.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

“Happy birthday Jiu-er,” Yin Xun smiled and said, “It’s been a really long time since I’ve celebrated your birthday with you. I remember that when your grandma was still around, she would always make you a bowl of noodles, so today you’ll be having a taste of my personal handiwork. I made you a bowl of the legendary delicious longevity noodles in chicken soup!”

Zhu Miaomiao said, “Give it a try!” dn5Ujv

Lu Qingjiu, “……” Even though he was suspicious of Yin Xun’s culinary skills, it had to be said, the bowl of noodles before him at least looked incredibly alluring. Atop the clear soup were scattered emerald green chopped onions, and the bowl was emitting the rich fragrance of chicken soup. No matter how he looked at it, it looked like an incredibly normal bowl of noodles.

Adding on their expectant gazes, Lu Qingjiu didn’t say anything in the end, simply eating the bowl of noodles before him. It had to be said, this bowl of chicken noodle soup really tasted quite good. The yolks of the fried eggs were even still runny. After eating it, Lu Qingjiu felt as if his entire body had warmed up.

“It’s delicious, thank you all,” Lu Qingjiu said with a smile.

“We’ll be responsible for all of today’s meals, you can just rest for the entire day today.” This was what Zhu Miaomiao had planned. She said, “It looks like the weather outside is pretty good, how about you take Bai Yuehu with you on a trip up the mountain?”

EoiaNj

Lu Qingjiu smiled and said, “No need, I can do it. After all, it’s my birthday, I want to treat you guys to a meal.”

However, Zhu Miaomiao couldn’t be persuaded otherwise no matter what. In the end, Lu Qingjiu could only give in out of helplessness, taking Bai Yuehu with him to the fields and leaving the kitchen to the three of them. Of course, before he left, he didn’t forget to remind them to put safety first, and to please not set the kitchen on fire.

In the fields, Lu Qingjiu and Bai Yuehu chatted about the past. Lu Qingjiu told Bai Yuehu about some of his childhood memories. Bai Yuehu was a very good listener, and he didn’t need to worry about him telling anyone else about what he heard, after all, most of the time, he was too lazy to even open his mouth to speak.

Their field was lush green and full of life. The recently-planted pumpkins had grown as well. This was their first batch of pumpkins ever, and each one of them was especially big. Picking them up to roughly weigh them, he found that they were about twenty to thirty jin. Lu Qingjiu brought one back with him, planning on making a few desserts with the pumpkin. 4wLeis

It was just that halfway back, he felt something wrong with his stomach.

“What’s wrong?” Bai Yuehu asked Lu Qingjiu.

“My…… stomach hurts a little.” Lu Qingjiu’s face was deathly pale. “Take this, I’ll be heading back first!” After saying that, he put down the pumpkin and picked up his legs and ran, leaving behind a stunned Bai Yuehu.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

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“What’s wrong with you?” Upon seeing how Lu Qingjiu looked, Bai Yuehu, who’d just sat down in the courtyard, asked doubtfully.

“I…… I ate Yin Xun’s cooking,” Lu Qingjiu said in a trembling voice.

Bai Yuehu, “……” His expression told Lu Qingjiu, why hadn’t he been able to think it through. 7Ajl2E

Lu Qingjiu said, “But it clearly looked pretty good!”

Bai Yuehu said, “That’s what you said last time too.”

Chrysanthemum Garden.

Lu Qingjiu was in so much pain that he was yearning for death, but the most terrifying thing wasn’t this, rather, it was the fact that at that very moment, Yin Xun was still in the kitchen using his culinary talents with Zhu Miaomiao. Before Lu Qingjiu was able to say anything, he was forced back into the toilet. As he squatted in the toilet, he even began to resent that his house didn’t use toilet bowls, he felt like he’d been squatting for so long that he was going to need to amputate his legs…… 

By the time Lu Qingjiu started feeling a little better and left the toilet, he looked utterly dehydrated. Bai Yuehu passed him a cup of hot tea, pity evident in his gaze. He said, “They made you another table of good dishes.” Fhwgcd

Lu Qingjiu, “……” His hand holding the tea was trembling slightly.

Bai Yuehu, “Drink the tea.”

Lu Qingjiu, “……Okay.” 

Who knew Bai Yuehu’s next line would be: “Hurry on to your death.” UDPi0R

Lu Qingjiu almost choked to death. After finishing the cup of tea, he dragged his heavy body into the house and saw the table of dishes Yin Xun and Zhu Miaomiao had prepared for him. It had to be said, if not for the fact that his butt still hurt, this table of dishes would really be incredibly alluring. There was a mix of meat and vegetable dishes, as well as a huge pot of steaming chicken soup. In the centre, there was even an extremely beautiful squirrel fish.

Zhu Miaomiao praised off to the side, “Yin Xun, your cooking is really pretty good.”

Yin Xun’s bashful response: “I’ve just had a lot of practice at home. I didn’t used to be this good before. Jiu-er, you’re back? Why’d you stay out in the fields for so long today?” Xo9w y

Lu Qingjiu thought, what do you mean I just came back, I’ve clearly been in the toilet for an entire afternoon. It was just a pity that the few of them were too busy to notice the person dying in the toilet.

Lu Qingjiu said, “Yin Xun…… I have something……”

Zhu Miaomiao didn’t know anything about this. She enthusiastically rushed over to Lu Qingjiu, beckoning him over, “What are you saying, hurry and eat. We can talk after you eat, the food’s getting cold.”

Lu Qingjiu knew that he had to say something, but faced with Yin Xun’s expectant eyes, he actually felt like he couldn’t say the words that were pressing up against his lips. Yin Xun knew that his grandmother would always make him a bowl of noodles for his birthday, so he’d gotten up early to make a fresh bowl of chicken soup to cook a bowl of noodles for him. He also knew that Lu Qingjiu hadn’t celebrated his birthday in a very long time, so he’d specially made him a table full of dishes. He didn’t have any special birthday presents he could give Lu Qingjiu, so he could only do his best…… Having met this kind of friend, Lu Qingjiu found that he didn’t quite have the heart to say that this food couldn’t be eaten. PF7N0m

“What’s wrong, Qingjiu?” Seeing Lu Qingjiu remain still, Yin Xun asked blankly.

Lu Qingjiu let out a deep sigh. In the end, he didn’t say anything. With a benevolent fatherly look in his eyes, he sat down at the table and said, “Let’s eat.”

“I’ll go get Bai Yuehu.” Zhu Miaomiao happily left.

After being called in and seeing Lu Qingjiu sitting at the table once more, even holding chopsticks in his hand, Bai Yuehu raised his eyebrow slightly, sending a questioning gaze towards Lu Qingjiu. 3RLYnu

Lu Qingjiu couldn’t say it to Yin Xun’s face, so he simply pulled out his phone and messaged Bai Yuehu, saying that not matter what, this was the rest of Yin Xun and Zhu Miaomiao working for an entire afternoon, if he said that he couldn’t eat it, they would be disappointed.

Bai Yuehu was silent for a moment. After a long time, he sent back one line: You really don’t fear death.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Lu Qingjiu shut off his phone, pretending he hadn’t seen it.

He picked up his chopsticks and began to eat. Lr40J9

The food actually tasted rather good. It could even be said that for Yin Xun, who rarely cooked, he’d already done extremely well. As everyone drank wine and chatted, the atmosphere was actually rather pleasant. It was just that thinking about how he’d be spending the next few hours after this meal, Lu Qingjiu felt like that there was a knife being twisted in his heart. He even began to consider if he should go next door to borrow their toilet.

The process of eating itself was wonderful as they filled their stomachs with food and wine. Zhu Miaomiao even brought out that rather flat cake, carrying it to the table with pomp and circumstance, even taking out some candles which Lu Qingjiu had no idea where she could have gotten them from, and lighting them for him.

“Qingjiu, happy birthday!” Zhu Miaomiao’s smile was incandescent. “We all made the cake together, it doesn’t look very good, but it still tastes alright!”

When Lu Qingjiu saw the cake, he felt a throb of pain in his heart, thinking that there was a possibility he’d have to sleep in the toilet tonight, but it was still alright, after all, he’d have a few people to accompany him. Thinking about it like that, he instantly felt relieved, letting out a kindly smile. JtAMFu

Seeing Lu Qingjiu’s smile, Zhu Miaomiao asked, “Jiu-er, why does your smile look so much like the Buddha’s?”

Lu Qingjiu, “Does it?”

Zhu Miaomiao, “It does.”

Lu Qingjiu thought, that might be because I know that I’m about to ascend and become one. Sitting next to them, as Bai Yuehu watched the two interact, a hint of laughter appeared in his eyes when he heard that exchange. D7YtZn

Zhu Miaomiao still didn’t know what she’d done, but seeing that Lu Qingjiu wasn’t going to explain, she placed all her attention on the cake as she lit the candles and even sang Lu Qingjiu the Happy Birthday song. Lu Qingjiu made three wishes to the cake, then blew out all the candles in one breath.

They cut up the cake and split it amongst everyone. Even though no matter how you looked at it, this cake looked like a lump of white baba, it actually didn’t taste bad, at least tasting like a dessert. Lu Qingjiu swiftly polished off his share of the cake, then instantly turned and left. Seeing the determined set of his back, Zhu Miaomiao asked, confused, “Jiu-er, where are you going?”

Lu Qingjiu said, “I’m going to the toilet.”

Zhu Miaomiao, “What are you going to the toilet for?” EtQUkc

Lu Qingjiu, “You’ll know in a while.” He stopped for a moment, and gave this group of three idiots who still didn’t know what had happened a tip, “I honestly advise that you all go out right now and find yourself a toilet in the village. After you go in, don’t come out……”

The three all had looks of incomprehension on their faces, but very quickly, they understood the meaning of Lu Qingjiu’s words.

“Fuck, fuck, Lu Qingjiu get out of there, I can’t hold it in any longer——” Yin Xun shrieked like a chicken that was being strangled.

However, Lu Qingjiu who’d already used up all of his fatherly compassion just now had a heart of stone. “I can’t come out, I’ll be living here from today onwards.” 8MaPFQ

“Lu-ge, Lu-ge, please, I’m begging you, give me a chance.” Zhu Miaomiao decided to go with the soft approach. “I’ll let you back in after I’m done.”

“Not possible,” Lu Qingjiu said, “Don’t even think about it.” He knew Zhu Miaomiao, this thing, all too well. Don’t be fooled by her sweet words, if he really let her in, this toilet would be surnamed Zhu.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Jiang Buhuan didn’t have the nerve to fight with Lu Qingjiu. With a red face, he went off next door to ask to borrow their toilet.

Seeing that their plans had failed, Yin Xun and Zhu Miaomiao both let out a few curses, before going off elsewhere to look for toilets. Lu Qingjiu had finally become the king of the toilet, but he wasn’t at all happy about it. B14j6X


baum: if you guys were in lqj’s position, would you doom yourself to spare your friend’s feelings? i don’t think i could lmao

Translator's Note

鸡蛋面长寿面的做法步骤图,怎么做好吃】小萝卜腿_下厨房长寿面的做法大全_长寿面的家常做法_怎么做好吃_图解做法与图片_专题_ ...

Leave a Comment

48 comments

  1. ….. remind me to bever eat the cooking of YX.

    Happy birthday LQJ ai wish you plenty of toilet paper 🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻

  2. I’d tell my friends it has to be extremely delicious food for it to be worth spending a night on the toilet.

    Sending my love to the father with a Buddha-like kindness. ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧

    Thanks for the chapter!

  3. Nope. I don’t mess with food.

    If I had a friend like that, i’d question my friendship if they even offered to make me food.

    And if they did anyways?I’d be like ” Thank you!” Take a picture of it.Then promptly throw it in the trash with a smile and threaten them to never waste food in my house again.Then order pizza.

  4. How many Yin Xun dishes does it take for a Lu Qingjiu to ascend, lololol. And to answer your question, I’d probably taste it a little and then do some distraction??

    Thank you for the update!!

  5. thank you for the chapter! Seeing how I eat food that I shouldn’t just because it’s tasty. Yeah, I would?

  6. …..I would….be really honest.

    Actually, as I was known as the truly honest and stupidly gullible one to my yearmates, hahahah. Truly a person without tact, but really easy one to fool, hahahahah

    Thank you for the update! lit candles for LQJ and co

  7. LQJ is nice. Lol. Can’t stop laughing on this chapter. I imagine a Buddha smile lol

    Thanks for the chapter

    😂

  8. Ahahaha Yin Xun’s cursed cooking… Qingjiu ah, come, lemme buy you a royal porcelain throne!

    Thank you for the chapter!

  9. omg lu qingjiu is too nice

    thanks for translating!

  10. “Do you remember what happened last time?”

    “?”

    “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

    And then I would escape through a window.

  11. Lmao. Nope. Yin Xun should not ever be allowed to cook. 🤣🤣🤣

  12. If I were in lqj’s position I would eat the noodles, hide in bedroom and take the stomach medicine left over from last time, then go out with byh and not come back till I was sure everybody else was already in bathrooms 😅

  13. YX really got the short end of the stick. A mountain god with normal human bodily functions, this is why BYH treats him as a snack😂

  14. Thanks for the chapter ❤

    I wouldn’t touch the food since I don’t know what it is that’s causing the diarrhea. I would suspect a lack of hygiene during the preparation 🤣🤢 Food poisoning can even end up harming your internal organs and in some cases be deadly. So, would 10/10 kick him out of the kitchen and say that I appreciate the sentiment but, no, just no. 😆

  15. today we’ve seen the bottom line of lqj’s benevolence and tolerance for his loved ones… bai yuehu will surely live the rest of his life spoiled rotten

    thanks for the chapter!

  16. I was laughing so hard that abs are forming, I couldn’t breathe for a while with tears stinging my eyes, my throat hurts tho I’m still giggling as I type this and I almost chocked twice.

    Altogether, it was a great chapter…I think BY reaction about killed me then LQ with his benevolence was the final nail to my stomachs coffin. I was legit in pain and out of breathe, and had to start and stop multiple times to finish this chapter. Like para 2. Laugh. Gasp and recover .Para 3. Laugh. Gasp and recover

    😂😂😂

  17. The atmosphere was heave last chapter……… how was is possible that in this chapter i’m already rolling around the floor laughing myself to death……… ToT

    Thanks for the chapter! 💜

  18. If my best friend’s cooking were that bad, she wouldn’t be making her own food. She would also rather use it, well, let’s describe it as „torturing her enemies“. 🙂

  19. I value my life thank you very much. YX the type that doesn’t learn from the 1st lesson ey~ that includes LQJ too I guess, bro appreciate the sentiments but don’t risk it 😂

  20. Is this chapter supposed to be funny… Cause I’m pretty pissed off at how horrible his birthday turned out to be… It feels so shitty, I actually am angry for the first time at this. I know it’s supposed to be a joke, but heck, NO.