Don't Pick Up Boyfriends From the Trash BinCh1 - Genius Cannonfodder’s Counterattack Record (1)

translator: baumkuchen

As he leaned against his car, Chi Xiaochi took a puff of his cigarette. nwAG2p

In the slowly growing darkness, the little ember gave half of his face a slight glow.

When about half the cigarette had been used up, he took a look at his watch. Taking a final breath of smoke, he leaned down and reached into the half-open car window, took out a mostly empty water bottle, and threw the half-finished cigarette inside. He then drew out a stick of chewing gum from his pocket, hastily chewing twice before spitting it out along with the remnants of cigarette ash into a tissue.

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He’d originally wanted to throw the rubbish away, but when he turned back around, the person he’d been waiting for had arrived.

When that person staggered out of the main entrance of the software company, a tired air about him, the first thing he saw was the brand new car parked by the roadside, before spotting Chi Xiaochi. 5hvNl7

His expression became a little complicated. “……Xiao Cheng.”

  

In this world, Chi Xiaochi was called Cheng Yuan.

As his gaze brushed over that face, Chi Xiaochi momentarily froze in place, forgetting to rush forwards.

4IDLfz

That person stood still, used to waiting for “Cheng Yuan” to walk up to him. Upon noticing that “Cheng Yuan” didn’t plan on moving, his brow furrowed with doubt.

In Chi Xiaochi’s mind, a half-human, half-mechanical voice sounded a reminder. Its tone was very businesslike, and hence, it seemed a little cold.

The system reminded him: “Mister Chi, the target is calling you.”

Ignoring the goodwill level that dropped from 72 to 70 points, Chi Xiaochi regained his composure, commenting: “His looks aren’t bad.” rdF27V

Straightening up, he then sighed to himself: “I’ve really been single for far too long. Even a piece of shit like this can seem handsome.”

The system: “……”

Pretending to not have been able to see clearly in the darkness of the night, he blinked several times before finally seeming to recognise the person in front of him. His originally stunned and slightly unfocused eyes instantly filled with joy, and the two dimples that formed on his face were sweet enough to make others want to smile along with him. “Old Yang!”

The system: “……” It seems like entering acting mode in just a second, is indeed possible. WdDzFs

  

The full name of that “piece of shit” target was Yang Baihua.

Actually, that so-called “Old Yang” wasn’t actually old, being older than Cheng Yuan by just four years. He had a clean and neat appearance, cuffs rolled up to an equal height; a refreshing temperament, neat hair and nails, a slight woody scent, as well as a sense of toughness and stability rarely seen in young men. The abs that were contained within the white dress shirt weren’t obvious, but their slight outline was enough to make one’s heart race.

As he slowly approached the mission target, Chi Xiaochi quickly looked over the world information he had received once again. fdBSGz

  

In this world was the first mission Chi Xiaochi had received since signing on with the system. According to his system, in order to let hosts adapt quicker, for every host’s first mission, the world setting would be similar to that of their original world, and the difficulty level would also be on easy mode.

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To put it bluntly, it was a tutorial for newbies.

  dulSFP

For this tutorial, his target was Yang Baihua, a golden phoenix that had flown out from the remote southwestern mountainous region, a college student produced from the effort of his entire family, studying software engineering. From not even being able to turn on a computer to becoming a successful scholar, close to seven years of studying in the city area had worn away the country bumpkin air of Yang Baihua. At first glance, he seemed like a youth who had spent his whole life in the city.

As for Cheng Yuan, it could be summed up in one sentence: His family is rich.

As for exactly how rich they were, Cheng Yuan had never cared about that, that was something for his older brother to worry about.

Since young, Cheng Yuan loved music to death. He was also truly gifted, after playing for a bit with any musical instrument he could easily grasp it, and he had a beautiful voice that could make any supporting musical instrument sound even better. Whether it was singing, composing, or playing instruments, he could do it all, and had interest in all of it. QJn1Pe

 

It was after Cheng Yuan had entered music school and came to find his friend from highschool to play, that he coincidentally met Yang Baihua in his school grounds.

At that time, Yang Baihua had just started his fourth year of university, and happened to be at his most attractive, full of youthful daring and energy. That refreshing yet tough atmosphere entranced Cheng Yuan, causing him to blindly follow him around campus.

At first, Yang Baihua found him weird, but gradually, the young master who was like a dumpling with soft filling, like a rabbit that with one tug of its ear could be held in the center of your palm moved his heart. us1xdO

  

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

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Ycf vjs, joafg Jtfcu Tejc uba vgecx, lc j wbwfca bo lwqeirf, tf mjwf bea ab tlr ojwlis.

Llr qjgfcar kfgf ecjyif ab jmmfqa atja atflg rbc, ktb ktfc rwjii tjv ralii mtjrfv joafg ulgir, kjr jaagjmafv ab j wjc. Coafg rbwf lcnfralujalbc lcab Tjcu Djltej’r yjmxugbecv, tlr qjgfcar kfgf fnfc wbgf jujlcra la. HhjboA

The Cheng family elders wasn’t biased against Yang Baihua who had to struggle through every step of life. They themselves had been born from farmers, and had through their own hard work established their family. They understood the hardship of struggle.

However, Yang Baihua had four older sisters who were close in age, whose names all shared one similarity: Zhaodi, Pandi, Niandi, Wangdi. In the face of these four names, the two elders of the Cheng family were convinced: Yang Baihua’s parents would absolutely not accept a male who would keep his own surname and break the family line. This hopeless love of theirs would definitely not have a good ending.

  

However, love was blind. A5W47K

After Cheng Yuan sobered up, he absolutely would not listen to his parents’ well-intentioned advice, and was even dead-set on protecting Yang Baihua from them, scared that they would actively cause problems for him.

His parents weren’t that underhanded, and wouldn’t have made trouble for a hardworking, self-made child, but Cheng Yuan’s lack of trust in them really hurt their feelings.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

For Yang Baihua, he fell out with his parents, and moved out of his home to live with Yang Baihua.

Being a cheapskate, Yang Baihua’s rented flat was about twenty stops away from the city center, so there were very few restaurants around. On the bright side, it was quiet, and groceries were cheap. D1JKko

Cheng Yuan learned to cook for Yang Baihua. His skills actually weren’t bad. After Yang Baihua praised him a few times, he would even make lunch and bring it to him at work every day.

  

Some of his friends scolded him saying, Xiao Yuan you must be crazy, for this country bumpkin, you’d give up your easy life?

Cheng Yuan would just smile and say, he’s very good to me, we already discussed this, we’re eating hotpot tomorrow. f6Ja40

  

Cheng Yuan was indeed a romantic, for every small aspiration, he’d write it into his planner, full of hope for the future, line by line, as if he was writing poems.

“Tomorrow morning write songs; at noon make lunch; in the afternoon continue writing songs; at night go out for a walk with Old Yang; buy two cups of Sun Ji soymilk, for Old Yang’s add sugar; at midnight turn on the air conditioning, and sleep under the blankets.”

He never recorded bad things, because he truly felt that his life was very fortunate. 1kI9rA

His big brother’s sneaky offerings were also refused by him. The one time Cheng Yuan accepted his brother’s good intentions, was by accepting a car from his brother, a newly bought BYD, because he got sick on public transport. Every time he took the half-hour trip to send meals to Yang Baihua, he never dared to eat beforehand, in fear of vomiting.

However Yang Baihua didn’t like that present, saying his big brother was giving alms, wanting to remind Cheng Yuan of his past good life, and trying to make an opportunity to bring him home. Cheng Yuan thought that that made sense, and obediently returned the car.

After taking it he still returned it, this action hurt his big brother’s feelings.

Eventually, the short messages sent by his brother asking after him went from once a day, to once a week, to once a month. rthJ8j

In the midst of his sadness, Cheng Yuan consoled himself, thinking, his parents and big brother just wanted him to be happy. If he stayed with Yang Baihua, as their days got better and better, they would eventually accept Old Yang.

  

After graduating, Yang Baihua entered a software company as a systems analyst. It was said that he was highly looked upon by his managers. As for Cheng Yuan, his career could also be considered relatively smooth-sailing.

In the beginning, Cheng Yuan had never needed to think about making a living, just immersing himself in making music. Even if there was no market for the few experimental songs he wrote, his parents just used their connections to get it published, anyways it was just for some small self-entertainment. t8wo0m

But now, Cheng Yuan needed to make a living. In these few years, the record market had shrunk a lot, so Cheng Yuan had to give up on his beloved experimental music.

In this respect, Cheng Yuan didn’t have any problems with not writing music for his favourite genre. He liked every genre of music, whether it was classical pop, punk rock-and-roll, it was alright with him. It was just that as an artist, he was rather picky about quality.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

After three months of hard work, he carefully recorded 3 original pop demos, and sent them out to several record labels.

For all record labels, sent-in demos were as numerous as the amount of hair on a cow. Cheng Yuan had already prepared himself for disappointment. However, he was unexpectedly lucky, and very quickly received a response: His rough draft had been picked up by a small company, they were offering five thousand dollars for every song. wEXWSI

This small company expressed that they really admired Cheng Yuan’s creative abilities, and offered to sign an artist’s contract with him. Cheng Yuan was so excited that he signed it without even looking over it.

  

Cheng Yuan was jumping for joy. He was so happy that, even though he hadn’t yet received the money, he’d already made plans for how he was going to spend the fifteen thousand dollars, each plan made with Yang Baihua in mind.

If he could go back in time, Cheng Yuan would scold the at that time ecstatic Cheng Yuan for being a fool. F3CvHk

  

The small company’s production efficiency was low, and the final products weren’t entirely satisfactory, but seeing his three songs 《Autumn Thoughts》, 《Innermost Feelings》 and 《Love You》 slowly rise up the charts in the music app, Cheng Yuan was incredibly pleased. Every time they rose up a rank, he’d immediately screenshot it to show to Yang Baihua.

Until a certain comment appeared: “Does anyone feel like 《Autumn Thoughts》 sounds a lot like Goddess Tang’s revision of 《Common Thoughts》?”

Very quickly, someone replied: “Not just 《Autumn Thoughts》, 《Innermost Feelings》 also sounds a lot like Tang Huan’s new song.” 60jMYy

  

……Tang Huan?

  

Cheng Yuan’s hands slipped, exiting out of the app. QX8dF

As he stared up at the black screen of his phone in a daze, he started sweating profusely, as if a nest of ants had started burrowing into every one of his joints.

With a shaking hand, he reopened the music app. The well-known pop singer, Tang Huan smiled back at him from the front page advertisement.

  

That day, Cheng Yuan’s Weibo, which had only a few thousand fans, was drowned with vitriol from Tang Huan’s millions of fans and their water armies. OMwbHv

  

“Motherfucking plagiarising dog! You and your whole family should just die!”

Chrysanthemum Garden.

“Under that innocent face of yours, how could you be so despicable?”

“For information on the causes and consequences of Cheng Yuan’s plagiarism and more details on the incident, visit this link: http://t.cn…”   ngUWl7

“I casually picked up some of Cheng Yuan’s prior works, the desire for knowledge made me pick it up, and the desire for life made me drop it.”

“Hahaha what kind of “exquisite” singing is this, such ghastly shrieks of yiyiwuwu like this can also be fucking called good singing? Fans really are blind.”

“wtf how amazing, they even copied the song name from Goddess Tang’s new album cover, did they just copy the entire set?”

   clxOBV

Cheng Yuan couldn’t care less about those insults.

He placed in his earphones, frantically listening to each one of Tang Huan’s new songs over and over. His eyes turned bloodshot, and his body was covered in cold sweat.

……It’s really the same.

They were only different in terms of some minor adjustments. There wasn’t a need for any professional evaluation, as long as you had a pair of working ears, and weren’t absolutely tone-deaf, you would be able to tell it was plagiarised. BO LrW

 

……But who actually copied who?

Cheng Yuan was sure of his own innocence. He hadn’t listened to a single one of Tang Huan’s songs before today, as he’d heard a critique a poison-tongued musician had made about Tang Huan. Even though it was said in a nasty manner, their criticism still held true:

“Tang Huan is best at singing saliva ballads. As expected of saliva ballads, the songs are also very slobbery, when she sings she sounds like she’s choking on a mouthful of saliva.” HfhBjZ

  

Tang Huan’s smiling face spun before Cheng Yuan’s eyes, and on the electronic cover of her new album was this line: “The Queen of love songs twirls beautifully, as she sings out your innermost feelings.”

——“wtf how amazing, they even copied the song name from Goddess Tang’s new album cover, did they just copy the entire set?”

   he9Bqk

Cheng Yuan clearly remembered, the name of the song 《Innermost Feelings》 was something he had came up with himself. It was about his own innermost feelings that he wanted to voice out to Yang Baihua. It was about his own restrained and taboo love, but Tang Huan had made it about the sweet love of a little girl.

Cheng Yuan could only feel an unprecedented level of insult.

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The biggest hit he’d ever experienced before this was the failure of his coming out of the closet. He’d never had to suffer such a loss of reputation, or this feeling of being pointed at by thousands of people.

As the ringing in his ears drowned out everything around him, the only thought in his mind was of Yang Baihua. k5pfvA

He dialed Yang Baihua’s phone number. The moment he heard his voice, his tense emotions immediately burst out. He could only cry out in a teary voice: “Old Yang, Old Yang, please come back.” Like a little kid who had been badly bullied.

In dealing with matters involving other people, Cheng Yuan really was just like a little kid. He’d been protected too well by his family.

So, when he clutched at Yang Baihua, crying as he told him that his songs had been stolen by someone, and he even had been publicly scolded by millions of people, Cheng Yuan failed to notice the momentary flurry of panic in Yang Baihua’s eyes.

   oSmuLk

But what Cheng Yuan would never have imagined, was that this was only the beginning of his nightmare.

  

However, now, it was Chi Xiaochi, playing as a steel-toothed white rabbit Cheng Yuan, standing in front of Yang Baihua.

The former looked up and smiled at the latter with bright eyes. c2e4Zz

Yang Baihua looked over at the car. He asked, frowning: “Did you buy this car?”

Cheng Yuan turned to glance at the car, and boasted in a childish voice: “Isn’t it beautiful?”

Yang Baihua asked: “How much did you spend?”

Cheng Yuan’s eyes curved in a smile: “Guess?” 93BiuZ

From start to finish, this conversation was exactly the same as the one in the original host’s memories.

  

Yang Baihua furrowed his brows, and the goodwill value in Chi Xiaochi’s mind dropped another two points.

Yang Baihua suppressed his anger, deciding to try talking sense into this young master who didn’t know the value of money: “Xiao Yuan, the two of us are going to stay together for a long, long time. For me, you fell out with your family, and I really appreciate your sincerity. But since young you’ve lived a very fortunate life, you don’t understand how to moderate yourself. If you keep spending so extravagantly…” lMq9fD

These words were very reasonable. According to the original plot, the original host should now bow his head in shame, and admit that he had just been joking, and that the car had been given to him by his older brother, Cheng Jian.

Chi Xiaochi aptly let out a wronged expression: “…This was given to me by my big brother. I get sick easily on public transport.”

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Yang Baihua gently stroked Chi Xiaochi’s head: “Xiao Cheng, you’ve grown up, you can’t always keep depending on your brother’s support like this. Your brother has his own life, as do you. By doing this, he’s deliberately interfering in your life, pampering you. This will only make you more and more unwilling to leave your golden cage. Don’t you agree?”

   tATByJ

Chi Xiaochi kept silent, staring at him.

Yang Baihua was very confident in himself.

In the past, Xiao Cheng had a friend who was strongly opposed to their relationship. After being taught by him like this, Xiao Cheng immediately distanced himself from him.

……Xiao Cheng didn’t know anything. It was for his own good that he needed to obediently listen to him, or else he’d easily be led astray by others. HdFiup

At this time, Chi Xiaochi started to speak.

When he spoke, his voice was pleasant to listen to, gentle and soft, just like the voice he had always used to speak to him, to the extent that at first, Yang Baihua didn’t understand what he was saying: “…If my brother treats me well, does it cost you anything?”

 

The author has something to say: zscUWA

The story of a seemingly gentle, but actually overly controlling phoenix man


Happy April Fools! And happy birthday to me! (That isn’t a joke, I was born a joke lol)

For my birthday present to myself this year, I’m jumping into another pit… _(:3 」∠)_ I hope you guys enjoy this story, Don’t Pick Up Boyfriends From the Trash Bin~

Anyways, this is an actual project that I’m picking up, but it’s in teasers for now since I’ll be going overseas soon and can’t start regular updates yet orz (CG rules are all official projects must be updated at least once a week) So yeah, the next update might not be here for a while, but I’ll be updating 3 times a week once I get back, so look forward to that! o3dSRf

Translator's Note

Meaning rags to riches

Translator's Note

Actual word used means that he was able to skip masters to straight away do a PhD

Translator's Note

Meaning of the names are as follows: Beckoning a younger brother, hoping for a younger brother, thinking of a younger brother and expecting a younger brother. You can see why Cheng Yuan’s parents didn’t think Yang Baihua’s family would acceot him being gay lol

Translator's Note

Saliva ballads is slang for songs that aren’t very good but are very popular.

Translator's Note

A phoenix man is a man from the countryside who marries an urban woman (or well, in this case man)

Leave a Comment

81 comments

  1. Heheheh. I was asking if this 1×1…but right now, after reading the first chapter, I’m IN!!! Even if this is ~shudders~ HundredsX1 pairings.
    Just reading how MC will torment and face slap these slag gongs and hanger-ons is soooo entertaining. 💞💞💞💞💞😂
    Thanks for picking this up, baumkuchen.

    • haha, thank you for reading! <3

      I don’t know if you saw my response to your comment on the TOC, but I added in a spoilerly author’s note in the summary which’ll give you the answer to your question. Be warned, it’ll also tell you who the gong is 😛

  2. I’m loving this! Thank you for the introduction to a lovely new novel.

  3. Huhuhu, I like the MC’s spit-fire attitude~! Thanks for the teaser! Anticipating future chapters~! =)

    • I really love this MC’s personality~
      Thank you for reading! I’ll try to at least publish one chapter while I’m overseas orz

  4. I’m guessing Yang Baihua was the one Who atole his songs? Or it was the company? Hmm.

    You show them, Chi Xiaochi!

    It really seems Interesting. I’ll be following it. Thanks for this New project! And have a nice time overseas.

  5. New pit new pit! Hmm it seems like he’s behind the plagiarized songs somehow. MC get revenge for your host body!!!

    Thanks for the chapter!

  6. What a bastard add oil Chi Xiaochi and burn that greasy piece of trash!

    As if you didn’t already know i am loving this story

  7. Oh my god, I can’t wait for this to continue! I really love all the translation works in CG, it’s so awesome! Thank you so much for picking this~

  8. ELKJ:DSIJF this slag man… I want to see the face-slapping commence.

    Actually I was so outraged about this potential ML that I went back to read the spoiler author’s note. #relieved.

    Just waiting now for the revenge~~~

    Thanks for bringing us something awesome!

  9. Please update soon! I am really looking forward for this novel. Daily updates or 4 updates per week please~♡♡

  10. the rat sold his lover’s songs?!

  11. Belated happy birthday. Just got time to read novels

  12. Thank you for translating!

    *I recognize this story from Quickly Wear The Face of The Devil

  13. Don’t tell me the Original Target was a scum?

  14. Wooff! off to a good start!

    Thanks for the chap

  15. Thank you for translaying this is only the first chapter and I already like it

  16. This guy really does deserve to be thrown into the trash bin.

  17. Started reading this one because of the funny title and the artwork that won. So far I’m liking it~

    Thanks for picking up the novel!

  18. Babe MC pickup line is the best: ” If my brother treats me well, does it cost you anything?” Right, just bc my bro give doesn’t mean he pampered me too much….

    Hmmm…. How with the relationship start between MC and ML? BL world-hopping is the best!

    Thanks for translating, translator-san!

  19. Absolutely love this novel~~Reading this for the third time and I think I spot an error(?)

    ‘For Yang Baihua, he fell out with his parents, and moved out of his home to live with Yang Baihua.’

    I think the first “Yang Baihua” should be Cheng Yuan instead.

    Regardless, thanks for the chapter! 😀

    • Nah, it’s actually right, since it’s talking about Cheng Yuan, CY fell out with his parents for the sake of YB, and even left his home to go live with YB. Though I admit I was slightly confused when I read that line too. Anyway, I think the only error is the first comma (is that what it’s called in english? Never had to use that one before…).

  20. As a relative of someone who was in an abusive relationship, this was so satisfying to read. Don’t let them keep you away from people who love and support you 😭

    Thanks for the translation!

  21. hello, I’m thai translater who admire your works and want to translate into thai, please give me a permission, I will give full credits for you, thank you!

  22. this is literally the first chapter and i already teared up QAQ

  23. So…did the Phoenix man stile his songs😡??

    Poor host 😭 did he die in the original?

    Thanks for the chapter!🍀

  24. Hello Translator-san,

    I’m sorry to disturb your time.

    I love the novel Don’t Pick Up Boyfriends From the Trash Bin that you translated into English.

    I’d like to ask your permission if you don’t mind.

    Is it okay if i re-translate the (Don’t Pick Up Boyfriends From the Trash Bin) that was into Indonesian on wattpad? of course l’ll give credit to you and the original creators,

    I’m waiting for your reply.

    have a nice day ^^

  25. This first chapter shows us many things that would love to find out more about, I am happy to be able to binge-read this!

    The ML was suspicious from the get-go. I don’t know if 72 is high or low, but losing two points just by not running towards him?

    The original truly build a love castle out of sand. Painstakingly build, threatened by countless vagues, the sand runs out grain by grain and the whole crumbling of the love is only a matter of time.

    i heard so many good things about this novel, thank you for the translation!

  26. Waaaah saw this in a comment recommendation and I didn’t regret immediately reading it ><

    Thanks for the chap!

  27. I think I have read this story before But I didn’t remember why I stop reading this or what chapter did I stop last time… So, rereading it is!!

  28. Oh I can already feel rage building up in me. Can’t wait to watch how the MC will abuse these scum gongs

  29. Bruuuh, if Cheng Yuan was my friend I would have beat him up already because he is stupid. ( Sorry for my friends who always listens to my bickering and harsh words 🤧)

  30. ahhhh, im back again! eagerly awaiting the next chapter on sunday, so i decided to reread from the beginning. always, always a pleasure to read this book.

  31. I’m back to reread this story for a second time now. I absolutely love this novel. CY is too innocent and the piece of ass Old Yuan need a good kick in the behind.

    Let’s just wait for our here CXC!

    Thank you so much for the translations Baum!

  32. he groomed CY into isolating himself from his friends and family but in the end he will only abandon him ??!? what’s more maddening is that, people like Yang Baihua actually exists and real life, ugh how can people live like this 🙄

  33. LMAO I haven’t read this story in so long that I don’t remember where I stopped, but then I remember a bit of the beginning and I remember how unfortunate the real Chen Yuan was. He was just so in love and then that rugrat fucked him over. I’m at my time of the month and so emotional I started crying for him asjsjdnfesinf

  34. what wouldn’t I give to read this for the first time again 😩 my fourth time rereading it and it feels like I’ve come home

  35. Bet Yang Baihua sold those songs to that saliva girl.. Perhaps he even hooked up with her ???

  36. However, Yang Baihua had four older sisters who were close in age, whose names all shared one similarity: Zhaodi, Pandi, Niandi, Wangdi.

    Tf it’s better to not have children if you’re going to name your daughters like that.

    😒

    The last line was savage tho ><

  37. reading this from the beginning again before catching up with the latest chapters, and it’s just as amazing as I remember! thank you so much baumkuchen for putting so much of your time and effort into translating this amazing piece of work, I adore you so much

  38. OMG I read this one day late~ April 2 today, belated happy birthday to you, TL! May you have a wonderful year ahead!

  39. I’ve searched far and wide for a decent read, but alas I failedಠ⁠_⁠ʖ⁠ಠ

    It was either the relationship (between MC and ML) was half-hearted or MC just falls on love because ML has stayed with MC for a lifetime ತ⁠_⁠ತ.

    Or the plot of the arcs was lacking and there’s little info about it (arc)

    Or the actual plot of the qt story is just so bald or cliché

    All in all they (stories) were so mediocre hence why I’m rereading this .