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Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog FoodCh1 - Book One: First Bowl of Dog Food— School Campus: Strawberry Flavored Scholar Gong

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Many thanks to Moon for pointing out the mistakes :blobsnuggle:

  LWwi2J

Ding, mission world confirmed, preparing transfer!

*

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Gou Liang opened his eyes.

  01Wt3c

His first sensation was dizziness.

 

Gou Liang: Little Wanton, what is the situation right now?

  62Epwd

He shook his head, the lasting sensation of weightlessness and weakness gave Gou Liang a foreboding feeling.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

 

He tried to stand up but his legs were in an awkward position and were unable to exert strength causing him to be immobilized… Gou Liang stiffly lowered his head, and as expected saw that ‘his’ hand was shoved in between ‘his’ legs and was holding onto a certain pillar—

  kETD7m

Gou Liang: WTF?!

 

Not waiting for the system to start, Gou Liang immediately became aware of his current situation.

  Bpdy2q

This body was completely stripped naked, not even a loincloth was left to cover the body.

 

The reason why his hand was able to maintain this rapture position despite being unconscious was because someone harboring malicious intent had purposefully placed the original host’s right hand in between his legs. After positioning his hand to grip his pillar, three circles of transparent tape plus another three circles of transparent tape was used to keep the hand in place.

  6sLu1A

System: Dear master, the host’s body scan has been completed. Your current body is in an extremely weak state, suggesting to immediately purchase recovery medicine from the system shop.

 

Host, name Qi Cheng, male, seventeen years old, goes to YuLe City High School Year Two, father died early, followed his mother who remarried into the Ye family, his relationship with his stepbrother Ye Hui wasn’t good, his death had a direct correlation with Ye Hui.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

  KD4OwU

It turns out, at the welcoming ceremony after entering high school, Qi Cheng had developed feelings for the freshmen student representative.

 

Ever since discovering in Junior High that he has different inclination compared to other people, the original host became even more quiet and sensitive, even if he liked the other party he wouldn’t dare to confess.

  LMx 1X

This one-sided secret love of one’s wishful thinking ended a year later which was today.

 

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Not long before, his diary had been discovered by his stepbrother. When Ye Hui found out that he likes Zhan Yongzhe, it gave him an evil idea. Today, Ye Hui had purposely brought the original host into the bathroom and forced him to confess his feelings.

  xdbLqJ

Zhan Yongzhe had been listening from the outside and was thoroughly disgusted.

 

Beating up the original host, insulting him as they strip him naked and took photographs, Zhan Yongzhe tacitly agreed to this under Ye Hui’s instigation.

  ayIYTq

The person that the original host likes not only loathe him but also found him disgusting. Like this, hopes turned to dust, the heavily wounded him did not call for help after they left, in the end, he died from internal hemorrhage.

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Enduring the prolonged physiological pain, Gou Liang wrinkled his brows and said: Little Wanton, blocking the pain, you can do that right?

  mqW9jl

Like Gou Liang, this was the system’s first world. The system with zero prior experience heard what Gou Liang said before finally reacting, it hurriedly responded and opened up the pain blocking function. The sharp and blunt pain faded away, Gou Liang shook his numb left hand and ripped apart the tape that tied him.

 

Gou Liang: Qi Cheng’s soul ne?】

  DgB5YL

【System: It has already been taken to the space-time transit station to be frozen and sealed. It will stay there until the completion of the mission, if the mission is a failure then it will be released.】

 

Gou Liang understood, he told the system to extract the original host’s soul and give it to him.

  XBxsQR

【System: Master, mirror image extracting prop needs 99 points and can only be used in this world, are you sure you want to buy it?】

 

A shop screen appeared within Gou Liang’s consciousness, he was startled for a moment but immediately posed a noble and elegant smile.

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  5GJbTy

【Gou Liang: Are you joking with me! Your entire software was made with my soul force but you can’t even give me a measly mirror image extracting prop! Don’t talk extra with Laozi, hurry up!】

 

【System: …Even so, by the mainframe’s regulation, when Master is in the middle of a mission, your soul force that’s sealed with me can only be used to connect to the mainframe, the system shop and to protect Master’s soul.】

  LkK8e

【Gou Liang clicked his tongue: Then where did you get the host’s information?】

 

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

【The system who was being questioned pointed his fingers and said meekly: Master, that was one of the basic functions given by the mainframe.】

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

  McNTi6

【Xbe Oljcu vlvc’a jrx ktja atf batfg yjrlm oecmalbcr kfgf, lcrafjv tf rlifcais rajgfv ja atf ybvlifrr rsrafw jcv tewqtfv mbivis, rjslcu: Glv atf vfqjgawfca kjca ab wjxf wbcfs rb yjvis atja atfs kfca mgjhs? Rba ulnlcu wf atf rbei’r lcobgwjalbc lr jigluta yea sbe tjnf ab atlcx atlr atgbeut, ktja lo P’w eciemxs jcv kjr vlrmbnfgfv ys ibgv ubv’r mbcrmlbercfrr ab yf jc bearlvfg? Po P ufa xlmxfv bea bo atf kbgiv, vbc’a yijwf wf.】

 

【System: Master, please quell your anger, I’ll relay your concern to the mainframe right away QAQ.】

  KZROmp

The system cried a river of tears in its heart: Why is it that when other systems went on their first mission with their master they can successfully sell off the mirror image extracting prop but it was met with a master that haggles over every cent. Tears overflowing.JPG

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While waiting for the mainframe’s response, the system reminded Gou Liang of the host’s body condition.

  dMuFGe

【The system pasted on a smile and pretended to be lively: Ding, dear Master, the original host’s body is extremely weak, do you need to buy recovery medicine from the shop? This brand of product is having an event oh, a large gift package that includes the recovery, whitening and slimming series set, guaranteed quality that exceeds the value, don’t miss it! The event cost only 998, only 998, bring back home off the chart attractiveness index! 】

 

【Gou Liang paused: I’ve walked the longest path, that is the BOSS path. →-→】

  Rnbimj

 【System: …Then, is Master going to place an order?】

 

【Gou Liang retorted: Does the shop have Soul Recalling Grass from E rank worlds?】

  S2TBb8

【System: Master please wait a moment—there is, Master why are you asking this?】

 

Gou Liang thought: as expected. He calmly asked the system how much was it.

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  Rx ZEq

【System: Because it’s from E ranked worlds, Soul Recalling Grass in very cheap, ten stalks a bundle, each bundle costs 1 point.】

 

Gou Liang sneered: The conversion rate of points and spirit coins is 1:100, that means this ten stalk that came from a low-class world, in the Space-Time Administration Department’s main shopping center 1 spirit coin can buy a ton of plant but in the system shop it was 1 spirit coin for 1 gram this sky-high price! Inwardly, the BOSS reacted ‘pit pat pit pat’ with unhealthy thoughts towards the disparity of pricing, Gou Liang unhappily had the system make the purchase.

  ZsdBen

With an aching stomach, Gou Liang climbed up from the floor. He first washed his hands clean before taking out a stalk of Soul Recalling Grass from the system space. He weakly leaned against the sink and nibbled on it.

 

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Not long after—

  j54dbQ

【System: ! ! (•’╻’• ) ! ! Master, the data for the host’s physique is shooting up in a straight line, this, this, how is this possible!! 】

 

【Gou Liang with a cold and aloof face: Don’t you know that Soul Recalling Grass is the main ingredient for your so-called 998 recovery medicine set?】

  cWEb3l

【System: (=°Д°=) 】

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—This kind of classified information that even the mainframe might not necessarily know, how did Master learn of this?! But all this isn’t important. What’s important is that…it already foresees its miserable sales quotas TAT.

  2VTQHx

After gnawing on three stalks of Soul Recalling Grass, Gou Liang’s mortally fatal internal bleeding healed and color finally returned to his face. He didn’t continue to use the Soul Returning Grass to completely change the original host’s physique, instead, he stared at the sink’s mirror for a second before turning on the faucet.

 

Trickle.

  oqEmMf

Cold water splashed against his face, he rubbed his face fiercely to get rid of the tear stains on his face before lifting his head up.

 

Wetting his fingers, he brushed back his overly long bangs, the original’s high forehead was revealed— this evidently wasn’t the first time that the original host had experienced his step brother’s oppressive beating. On this body, even the inner thigh was blue and green, from head to toe there was practically no flesh left intact, however, in places that could be easily seen by people, there wasn’t a single trace of abuse. This goes to show that whoever did this was an old hand at it.

  cGhlWj

A face that was pale to the point of being excessive, due to Gou Liang’s rough washing from before, was now flushed red. Exquisite skin flawless to the point that not a single pore could be seen, large cat-like eyes that were distinctly black and white, long lashes that tempts people to caress it, straight and high rise nose bridge and smiling diamond shaped lips which with just a faint smile would reveal sweet looking dimples.

 

The features of this face were beautiful to the point of being delicate, only the pair of eyebrows exposed a hint of sharpness and valiant spirit.

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  TCWEpY

—It was a seldom seen beauty.

 

Thinking so, Gou Liang raised his brows.

  kmOCZK

Just by this face alone, the original host shouldn’t have become a host selected by the system, a host had very little interrelation with other people of the same world, in other words, this person’s interpersonal relationship was extremely bad and would scarcely have a relationship with anyone that goes beyond the level of acquaintanceship.

 

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

As Gou Liang was mulling over the original’s looks, the system finally received a response from the mainframe.

  2qrd6x

【Ding, dear Master. To answer your concern regarding the mirror image extracting prop, the mainframe responded with the following: In order to cooperate with the work of the Space-Time Administration Department, the space for this world has been frozen, lord god’s consciousness is in a deep slumber and the order of the world is governed by the law left behind by lord god. If energy that exceeds the set limit of this world appears, it will be directly obliterated by lord god.】

 

【During missions the mission undertaker’s soul force will be sealed with the system and cannot be used but the items sold in the system shop have the special effect of being exempted from the restrictions set by lord god, therefore the production price is costly.】

  vws e5

【In addition, in order to cooperate with your task and to provide the optimal assistance, the mainframe proposed the following solution: offering a one time use mirror image extracting prop, the set price is 9 points, asking if Master wants to place an order? 】

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【Gou Liang: …】

  OliHWQ

The space of the mission world being frozen, Gou Liang already knew this from the start, he just didn’t know all the trivial details.

 

Speaking up to this point, there is a need to talk about how Gou Liang ended up being here.

  vMSJ7y

He originally was a bottom dweller of the food chain at the Space-Time Administration Department, an insignificant soul filing administrator but on a certain day, he received instructions from his superiors to participate in a questionnaire survey. Afterward, he was appointed as a mission undertaker to travel through multiple worlds in order to complete a special mission.

As for why, it was because of a mistake on the Space-Time Administration Department’s part that resulted in an important item to shatter and scatter among the small worlds.

 

The item was something of extreme importance, it was classified as highly confidential information and not even the mission undertakers will be divulged too many details on it. If the item can’t be retrieved in a timely manner, there will be dreadful consequences, it is not too much to say that the Space-Time Administration Department will directly fall apart. When that happens, no one will be able to predict the extent of chaos and destruction that will befall upon the multitude of worlds, in short, the aftermath will be inconceivable. dDxW3g

 

The department spared no efforts to remedy the situation but in the end, they could only confirm the location of the fragments and determine that the fragments have merged into a soul of the world.

 

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Hence, the Space-Time Administration Department formed an emergency squad to enter these worlds and retrieve the fragments.  c3tFsD

 

But the higher-ups didn’t expect the situation to be more troublesome than they thought.

 

They had dispatched a large number of elites but still failed in retrieving a single fragment, they had no other alternative than to host a large scale recruitment from the masses, hence the questionnaire survey. Although Gou Liang wasn’t sure how any of the bizarre questions on the survey have any consultation value but the truth was, he was involuntarily chosen. VrUbI6

 

Gou Liang refused at first.

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He had stayed at the Space-Time Administration Department for close to a thousand years now, he lived very comfortably and didn’t want any changes to his current lifestyle. Not to mention in just another ten years he would be eligible for the once in a thousand year holiday vacation— he had already begun to make a meticulous vacation plan since a hundred years ago, the bosses that hogs all the legal vacation time should go die ah don’t you think! GHnDdC

 

However the department’s attitude towards this matter was unyielding, in the end, he could only negotiate for N amounts of benefits and sign a soul contract before being transported to here.

 

Benefit one: Paid Leave. ZQ5Y93

 

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He had always diligently earned spirit coins, it can’t be that just because he was forced to do missions that could possibly last for decades, centuries or maybe even millenniums, he wouldn’t have a single source of income during this time period ba?

Don’t coax him by saying that completing missions will give him a lot of points, don’t tell him that after finishing the mission the points will be converted into spirit coins at the rate of 1:100 and don’t repeatedly remind him that for every completion of a mission there will be an additional hundred thousand spirit coins as a reward.

  dwSjoE

Who are you lying to!

 

His predecessors who’ve failed the mission and didn’t get anything but were still forced to continue doing the missions, they have already cried until they fainted and went to heaven alright!!

  shXGC6

Benefit two: His two spirit pets, while he’s on mission, they will be sent to the spirit pet hospital and enjoy the highest possible treatment there free of charge.

 

Although the two spirit pets of his that only knew how to ‘eat spirit coins’ and make ‘pichu pichu’ sounds are the cheapest kind of spirit pets, the only in and never out “Pixiu” spirit pet but those two were the only living and breathing little companions that he had for the last thousand years. Dad is working to death outside, isn’t it for them to be able to live better? If he still had a few years to live and went back only to see that they have already starved to death, that’ll really be an incomparable tragedy, he can’t accept that ah!

  WhkYNJ

Benefit three: Initial points will be raised to 2000

 

He wasn’t stupid, his predecessors who entered with the minimum initial points of 1000, although he don’t know how well they’re doing, the system’s point loaning function isn’t just there for show. — Reality has proven that his worried weren’t unfounded, this 1000 point is only enough to buy a set of 998 recovery package, this means that if the other mission undertakers wanted to buy the mirror image extracting prop then they must take out a loan from the system.

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  ijw4kN

The mission undertakers who’ve borrowed points but are still unable to pay back the debt at the end of the mission, they will repay it using their own savings of spirit coins at the ratio of 1:1.

 

This hidden danger, his predecessors who’ve led a life of a prince might not understand but for Gou Liang who counts on every spirit coins to pass his days, how can he not understand a BOSS’s sinister motive— for the department he toiled for a millennium, but in the end, the mission undertakers might even have to offer up their pants as payment, is this ghost doing things?!

  Y79vDm

Benefit four: Upgrade system space to infinite mode.

 

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Gou Liang was a soul from a transitional world.

  fn3W5Q

The thousands of worlds recorded within the Space-Time Administration Department all have ranks, they were categorized according to the highest measure of soul force that the world could accommodate, there were E, D, C, B, A, S, these six ranks.

 

The so called transitional world is a world that’s in the state of evolving its rank.

  QD7ZHV

For example, Gou Liang was born in a world that had failed to evolve from a C rank world to a B rank world, it is now already destroyed.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

 

Destroy doesn’t just mean the destruction of the planet’s environment or the deaths of its inhabitants, it includes the souls that resided within the living creatures, they will all be obliterated during the collapse of the world. As someone with a King rank soul force, he very luckily managed to retain his soul after the termination of the world and accepted the employment of the Space-Time Administration Department afterward.

  47LSlU

A thousand years had passed but Gou Liang still remember the feeling of coldness and hunger from back then, this was also the reason why although he had become a soul that didn’t need to eat to live, he still retains the ‘foodie attribute’ and ‘stack up cravings’.

 

The so called infinite space, namely after the completion of the missions, all the things that he has collected will still be in his possession.

  ou6eQ8

……

 

Benefit N: The time he spent doing the mission will count as normal work hours, the once in a thousand year vacation time will be kept and accumulated.

  mpsxGB

Hence, after the department chief generously agreed to who knows how many conditions, a leg was raised to kick Gou Liang into the mission world: If it weren’t for this thing getting the only perfect score on that ridiculous questionnaire survey, would Laozi tolerate you? (#`皿′)

 

*

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  EVytSO

Beside him, the system cautiously but perseveringly continued its advertisement, Gou Liang somewhat calmed down from wanting to yell mother and ordered a one time use mirror image extracting prop from the shop.

 

A soul filing administrator’s most important job is to extract and preserve the soul mirror image which is to extract the memories of the deceased soul.

  fRz7ye

Gou Liang was familiar with the process and quickly extracted the original host’s memory from when he was an embryo into his own mind.

 

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

People can forget, but the marks left on the soul won’t disappear with the flow of time.

  hGonzK

The original host Qi Cheng came into the world under his parent’s anticipation.

 

However, before he was born, his father passed away due to an accident, causing his mother to suffer a shock. Under the extreme emotional simulation, she prematurely gave birth to the original host. After giving birth she wallowed in the pain of losing her husband, until five years later when she met the original host’s stepfather and started a new paragraph of spring did she walked out of that pain. The original host had been neglected by his mother since he was born, if it weren’t for the fact that the nanny was still conscientious, he would have long starved to death.

  N2kwXv

Twelve years ago, the original host had just turned five, after his mother remarried and he entered the Ye family with her, his situation became even worse.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

 

In the Ye family he was practically invisible, seven years ago his mother birthed his stepfather a son and from then on the amount of attention given to him became even less. Like this, he grew up in an environment where he was ignored, his blood relations were indifferent to him, in fact, the person that had the most contact with him was actually the stepbrother that likes to bully him for fun.

  OsPJx

When he first arrived at the Ye household, he had put up some resistance against his stepbrother but under his mother’s blame, that came to an end. Over the years, it resulted in the original host’s feeling of inferiority and gloomy temperament.

 

When he found out about his sexuality in junior high, he became even more reclusive.

  xcs2n1

During the day he would always keep to himself, seldom would he even lift his head to look at other people, his grades were also mediocre, there was nothing about him that stood out. Other than the few times when he was yelled at by the school’s disciplinary committee for his overly long hair that covered his face, no one paid attention to him as he grew up, not even his mother knew what kind of person he had grown to be.

 

Of course, the original host also had an extreme side to his character, it was an immature personality that was rebellious and cruel, it had formed during his childhood when he was being badly bullied by his stepbrother. Although it was very well concealed by the original host out of fear of his mother, but in his dairy there was no lack of cursing towards his stepbrother, blaming towards his mother, and expressions of hate towards this world. He used his diary to relieve some of his resentments.

  rdLVAB

Until Zhan Yongzhe appeared in his world.

 

He changed to a new diary and his writing slowly became gentle, every day he would write about the person that he’s secretly in love with. Things that he had heard about, things that he had imagined, things that he had seen with his own eyes, even if it’s just a brief glimpse of his back he would diligently sketch that out in his diary. The original host looked forward to meeting Zhan Yongzhe every day, for this love that had budded in the dark, he smoothed away his thorns.

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  dKsx40

If this feeling was allowed to continue developing, even if it never comes to fruition, the original host might have become a positive and compassionate person. Sadly, he will never have this chance.

 

The original host’s brief and short life rapidly passed through Gou Liang’s consciousness, although he was someone to be pitied, these grievous memories didn’t cause Gou Liang any emotional fluctuation.

  RIl42

For Gou Liang who had worked as a soul filing administrator employee, during these thousand years he had seen too much of similar cases. There were many more people that were even more pitiful and miserable than the original host, this kind of life already can not cause Gou Liang to feel anything. As for why he had gone through so much trouble and even urgently extracted a mirror image soul of the original host, the reasons were simple ↓↓

 

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Mission rule NO. 1: System will select a suitable host to be the mission undertaker’s tool in the mission world. The mission duration is based on the natural lifespan of the host, if the mission is finished in advance, transfer will be commenced upon a set time.

  sFydLw

Mission rule NO. 2: Mission undertakers cannot disturb the world’s natural order. 

 

This rule greatly restricted the mission undertakers: to put it simply, mission undertakers can’t OOC. In other words, mission undertakers can’t do anything overly excessive that will cause the people around the original soul to doubt the authenticity of their body’s identity and come to the conclusion that the mission undertaker is not the original host. When the original host’s body is cut off from the links of other people, the mission undertaker will be considered as an outsider by lord god’s law and be expelled from the mission world.

  EpMar

On the forum to discuss mission strategies and experiences, there was such a predecessor that was met with this tragic fate:

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A mission undertaker had wandered in a B rank beastmen world for nearly forty years before finally locking onto a mission target with a more than 90% compatibility. Because at that time the mission target’s life was being threatened and the situation was dire, he used a prop to execute a fire type ability that the original body didn’t have in order to save the mission target. Afterward, he was regarded by the entire tribe to be a god that has descended upon the host’s body, they rejected the existence of the original host, causing the mission undertaker to be directly kicked back to the mission transfer station.

  lCI5WK

It can be seen from this that even if the mission undertakers were using the shop’s prop which is exempted from the restriction of lord god’s law, under this premise, there still exists a large risk.

 

The beastmen world’s mission completion difficulty, because of this accident, shot up in a straight line.

  ArUCtx

To prevent similar situations from happening again, not only did the Space-Time Administration Department upgraded the systems so that when they are picking hosts, they would pick a host with weak interrelation to other people, the department also pushed out new regulations: anyone who violates the rules, not only will the mission be considered a fail, they must also pay a fine— after seeing the amount of fine that needed to be paid, Gou Liang killed any thought of challenging the authority, the amount fined was huge, he couldn’t scrape together that much even after saving spirit coins for the last thousand years!

 

Gou Liang: I just wanted to peacefully be a small employee! (︶^︶)=凸

  Dg7j5A

Translator's Note

I translated the system’s name to literally mean little wanton. Wanton= Lascivious

Translator's Note

The original translation was “驴我呢” which essentially means “You donkey me”. Apparently this is used because donkey are considered silly creatures thus this slang…

Translator's Note

Like this Image result for 对手指  

Translator's Note

Related image

Translator's Note

He’s saying that they cost a lot of money to raise

Translator's Note

Image result for pixiu“Pixiu is a Chinese mythical creature. The reason it’s ‘only in and never out’ is because it has no butthole…Thus whatever it eats will never out the other end.” 

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10 comments

  1. Thank you for the chapter!

    I’m awaiting for how MC will do his mission ^^

    This novel had the most variety of arcs, so I’m really excited about it

  2. Strawberry gong, come here boy …..I have fertilizer! (Don’t know how else to appeal to him) ¯_༼ ಥ ‿ ಥ ༽_/¯

    This seems interesting and is of to a good start, thanks for translating!