Edited by: Akane, Fallen, Kazu
When Zhao Gongzi came home, he said to me, “Today Boss Qian said that my attire was very tasteful. He’s never said that before.”
That’s because Boss Qian is one of the President’s brothers-in-law, and is also □□, so he didn’t need to flatter Zhao Gongzi.
And also because today, Zhao Gongzi wore the clothes that I gave him.
Zhao Gongzi has always suspected me of being evil and penny-pinching, and that I always give him the things that I don’t want anymore but don’t want to throw away, especially clothes. What’s he thinking? If this little bit of convenience was gone as well, why would I live under the same roof with him, a man like me? And why would I let him take over half of my space?
I’m just teaching him how to not be wasteful.
I told Zhao Gongzi, “See, it’s not that I gave you these clothes because I don’t want them anymore, but because I truly think that they look good on you.”
This was the truth too, because they were many times better looking than his own clothes. When will he finally stop copying his dad’s fashion style?
Master Zhao Si is already so old, even if he doesn’t wear those things he would be very handsome, however, Zhao Gongzi still needs the help of the right clothes.
“Ha.Ha. I think you look nice wearing that windbreaker of mine, but you never wear it.”
I already have no more hope in my life, please don’t push me into eternal despair.
Zhao Gongzi asked, “By the way, where’s that windbreaker? Take it out and wear it.”
I donated it. Previously, there were some students asking for donations on the street who said that they were going to organize a Charity auction gala. It was for a very meaningful cause and was the perfect place for Zhao Gongzi’s windbreaker to go.
“You didn’t throw it away, did you?” He cursed at me, “Fuck! That was tailor-made for five hundred euros! That tailor’s ego was even bigger than Laozi, he only made three pieces per year, and Laozi waited in line for two years. If you threw it away, then I’ll kill you!”
“I know it’s valuable, so I didn’t wash it at home and sent it to the store to be washed.”
Zhao Gongzi said, half believing and half suspecting, “You’ve never worn it before, why would you wash it?”
“Last week, during those days when you weren’t at home, the temperature suddenly dropped, so I wore it to work.”
Zhao Gongzi said, “Today I’m going to a gala, you come with me. Wear the windbreaker. Call the store and get the windbreaker sent here.”
“If I wear that, then it won’t go well with your clothes.”
“No worries, I’ll wear your clothes, they’re pretty good.”
I asked, “What gala? I don’t really like those things…..”
“I know that you don’t like the business meetings that I go to, but today it’s a charity auction gala, are you still going to make an excuse to not go?” Zhao Gongzi shouted impatiently at me, “Fuck, you’re really so much trouble, fuck, if you say another word then Laozi’s going to cook that shitty dog of yours. Fuck! If you don’t want to have a dog anymore then just say it, don’t shove the dog into my blanket in the middle of the night, Laozi was almost scared to death, you were trying to scare Laozi to death in order to run away with Boss Qian’s nephew, weren’t you?”
In Zhao Gongzi’s imagination, everything is always so complicated. In his mind, not only am I a cheapskate and villainous, I also fall in love with every guy I see.
But, this time, he really did misunderstand. I didn’t have any feelings whatsoever toward Boss Qian’s nephew, I was just deeply mesmerized by Boss Qian’s grace and sophistication.
Although I don’t have the patience to take care of Hamm, that cute yet overbearingly clingy dog of mine, that doesn’t mean that I’m willing to see him get cooked. As such, I can’t let Zhao Gongzi know that I donated that windbreaker of his. I can actually imagine when he sees that windbreaker on the auction stage, what type of expression and gaze he’ll look at me with.
——he’ll use the same expression as the Jiang Yang serial murderer had, when he got caught on yesterday’s headline newspaper, to look at me, then slaughter my dog.
My poor Hamm.
I suggested to Zhao Gongzi that he take an afternoon nap, so that I could have the chance to go out and get that windbreaker back.
Zhao Gongzi was unwilling. “I’m not sleeping, afterwards I have some stuff planned.”
I helpfully said, “Going shopping with Jin Xian’er can be moved to tomorrow night. Also, tomorrow night, opposite the department store they’re showing a new film. You don’t have any other things planned.”
Zhao Gongzi called his assistant to yell at him. “Fuck! You told Laozi’s schedule to Qiu Yixin again! Laozi’s the one who’s paying your salary!”
If you give a person money, you can only make them work for you; if you give a person what they want, then you can get their loyalty.
This truth was told to me by Master Zhao Si. And that’s why, back in our youth, I handed over Zhao Gongzi’s report card, which had a mean of 25 points, to the Old Master in exchange for a piano class registration.
Zhao Gongzi didn’t mislabel me, in order to achieve my goal, I could do anything.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
After Zhao Gongzi finished shouting at his assistant, he hung up and started cursing me. “Laozi’s going to….to……what the fuck! You! Close the blinds! It’s the middle of the day!”
Of course, afternoon naps are obviously taken in the middle of the day.
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The students still remembered me and waved at me when they saw me. “Mr. Qiu, are you shopping?”
“I’m here to ask for your help. That windbreaker I donated the other day belongs to my friend; I’m willing to exchange it for something else. Is that okay?”
The student replied, troubled, “Of course that’s okay. But the donations aren’t here with me now, you’ll have to go to the storage room to get it. I can bring you with me there later and explain the situation with you. Wait until I’m done collecting donations, which will be approximately at four.”
Zhao Gongzi’s afternoon naps always end at around three thirty, and the gala is at five-thirty.
I looked at the time; it was two thirty already, when I got to the storage it would be three. Although I left a message for Zhao Gongzi saying that I was going out to buy something, it was still better to get back with the windbreaker before Zhao Gongzi woke up.
I went alone to the storage and explained the situation to the manager. I exchanged a watch for that ugly windbreaker.
Thank the gods almighty, apart from Zhao Gongzi, no one can tell that that windbreaker costs five hundred euros. In fact, no one can tell that it’s even worth much money.
While the person in charge of the storage was looking for that windbreaker, I heard a voice that came from hell. “The things Laozi tells you to do are never handled right. If it wasn’t for the fact that you’re Uncle Da Li’s nephew, Laozi would have……”
What was Zhao Gongzi doing here? I quickly found a place to hide.
“I’m really sorry, Zhao Gongzi, it wasn’t on purpose. You told me to find some old things to donate in the attic, and I saw those paintings in the box, so I thought that they were supposed to be thrown away…..”
Zhao Gongzi shouted at him in fury, “Are you an idiot? Even if you throw those things away, no one would want them, if you take them and donate them, then who would buy them?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry……because of the frame, and because it looks a little European, although I didn’t know what was painted…..I thought we couldn’t be completely without sincerity, so…..”
“It’s a painting of Laozi!”
“Ah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t see that…..no that’s not what I mean…..Zhao Gongzi don’t hit me, please don’t hit me….”
En? Are they perhaps talking about the paintings that I had done during my school days? At the time, my European art teacher really appreciated my works, and had organized a small-scale art exhibition for me.
My classmates all said they couldn’t understand what I’d painted.
This was pretty good, art that can be understood by the majority of people can only give me money while I’m alive, it can’t bring me fame after I die.
After that, the paintings were bought by a rich merchant. The rich merchant was a collaborating boss of Master Zhao Si’s, who had made his fortune with investments. He said that the more that a piece of art was perplexing and hard to understand to him, the more he’ll have to buy it. He has insight, no wonder he became rich.
Surprisingly, Jin Xian’er was also there. “Zhao Gongzi, calm down. Is Mr. Qiu also coming tonight?”
Zhao Gongzi shouted at him, “The hells it got to do with you?! You’re not allowed to wear that red set of clothes!”
“Sir, which set do you mean?”
“Don’t you dare wear red!”
Jin Xian’er replied, “But I don’t have money to buy new clothes.”
“Fuck! I have money! Take it! But if you take Laozi’s money to buy gifts for him again, then Laozi will skin you alive!”
Jin Xian’er said, “Oh, I’ll remember that. Does Mr. Qiu like that set of tea cups I gave him?”
I like them a lot. They were handmade by Jin Xian’er. His hands are as talented as his voice, the things he makes are so good they could be sold in stores.
Zhao Gongzi laughed coldly, “Alright then, give me back the paintings. I’m donating this set of teacups. Da Tou, take the things out.”
“Zhao Gongzi, my name is Hao Da……”
“Cut the rubbish, do you want to be hit again?”
Jin Xian’er cut in, “This is what I gifted to Mr. Qiu.”
Zhao Gongzi arrogantly said, “It’s him who told me to throw it away, what crap is this. Do you know how much the cups he uses to drink water cost? The cup he uses to brush his teeth is gold-rimmed.”
To me, the act of brushing my teeth everyday is a very difficult thing. I always do it with my eyes closed.
Jin Xian’er said, even-temperedly, “Then I’ll buy it back right now.”
Zhao Gongzi shouted, “I’m donating them right now!”
That manager from before came back. “Where’s Mr. Qiu? Mr. Qiu!”
“Fuck! That’s Laozi’s windbreaker!”
“No, Zhao Gongzi, this was donated to our charity gala by Mr. Qiu, but he just came and said that he was going to exchange it for this pocket watch…..did Mr. Qiu leave?”
Sir, could you possibly say things any clearer? Why don’t you just give us a recipe for cooking dogs while you’re at it?
“Fuck! That’s Laozi’s pocket watch!”
Watches look nicer than pocket watches for younger people, especially Zhao Gongzi. He shouldn’t copy Master Zhao Si. If he really must copy Master Zhao Si, then he should take after how he’s a vegetarian. When Master Zhao Si was young, he was saved by a dog and so he never eats dog meat.
“Qiu Yixin, come out! Laozi just knew you weren’t going out to buy baked sweet potatoes!”
Calming down an angry Zhao Gongzi is really a very easy thing to do.
If I’ve ever said that it’s not easy, then I was probably just lowering expectations.
I came out and slowly looked toward the paintings and teacups on the table.
But, Zhao Gongzi has gotten some experience as well, and took the initiative, “What’s Laozi’s windbreaker and pocket watch doing here?”
“Perhaps they came here to look for these drawings of mine.”
“Da Tou did that, Laozi said we should have fired him!”
“When my paintings were bought by Boss Sun, Hao Da was still living in the countryside in his home village.”
What Hao Da wants is for his boss to call him by his name and not by his nickname. I accomplished that, so Hao Da betrayed his loyalty and Zhao Gongzi’s daily schedule to me.
“Fuck, when you have riches you only give it to outsiders. The paints were bought by Laozi, and Laozi is the subject of the painting, when you sold them, did you ask Laozi? And you didn’t even split any of the money with Laozi!”
If I didn’t remember this wrong, then that money was all used to repay the debt to Er Ge for his paperweight. When we were young, Zhao Gongzi broke his second brother’s antique paperweight, and we’ve been slowly paying the debt back all these years, and even till now the debt hasn’t been completely paid back. Every month when I get my salary, the first thing that I do is send money to Er Ge to repay the debt.
And it’s not as if Zhao Gongzi didn’t actually have the money to pay the debt. He’s just stingy. He’d rather spend five hundred euros to purchase an ugly windbreaker than pay back the money. Others only know that I have so many jobs, yet who knows the sorrows of my heart?
The last time he held up the flower vase that Er Ge had bought, my heart almost leapt out of my chest. And he actually once suspected that I’d fallen in love with Er Ge.
If I’d fallen in love with Er Ge, then I would have sold my body to him to pay back the debt a long time ago.
My love is Wu Ge, I won’t allow anyone to misunderstand my love.
Zhao Gongzi is so annoying.
“Da Tou, take the windbreaker and pocket watch, we’re going.”
I took the tea set that Jin Xian’er made and put it back into its box, then picked it up.
Jin Xian’er smiled. “If Mr. Qiu doesn’t like it, then donating it is good too. Doing charitable deeds can help me get some good karma. Who knows, maybe in my next life I’ll be more fortunate.”
It was true that Jin Xian’er was very unfortunate, he and I are both of pitiful backgrounds, and can understand each other. Sigh, and yet he still has to endure being in Zhao Gongzi’s company, Zhao Gongzi who is unreasonable and capricious, in order to survive. He sounds just like me.
Yet Zhao Gongzi was still swearing. “Fuck! That’s not what you said just now!”
I put the teacup back on the table, and said to the person in charge, “I’ll donate this tea cup set. They were handcrafted by Mr. Jin, I believe that they’ll fetch a high price.”
Zhao Gongzi yelled out, “Da Tou!!”
The assistant hastily stepped forward and said, “Zhao Gongzi is donating this windbreaker, it’s handmade by Master Nius Baruch Rafimke!”
Yes, that’s the guy. The person who scammed Zhao Gongzi out of five hundred euros.
Honestly, I wanted to give Jin Xian’er a surprise and planned to buy back the tea set at the auction. I am firm in my belief that without Zhao Gongzi’s interference, then I would be able to use my Romantic charms and woo the majority of the city’s young ladies and gentlemen.
Recently, I’ve found that Jin Xian’er is truly not bad. The love between me and Jin Xian’er is very novel, he hates me, yet I fell in love with him, it’s like an ironic drama. I even felt like I was very much like Rhett Butler.
But then things did not quite go according to plan, because I had to buy that windbreaker of Zhao Gongzi’s as well, otherwise, he would cook his dog.
Also, the tea set that Jin Xian’er made with his own hands was auctioned off for a price that was very difficult for me to afford. He really is very famous.
In the end, that teacup set was bought by a young lady for three hundred euros. She only had one request, and that was to be able to have afternoon tea using this tea set with Jin Xian’er.
I finally understand why Jin Xian’er had once mocked me and said that I didn’t know how to earn money.
I eat with Zhao Gongzi every day, yet I still have to help him pay back his debt.
After a while, it was finally Zhao Gongzi’s jacket’s turn to be auctioned. The starting price was five euros.
Zhao Gongzi started swearing. “Laozi——”
I quickly shoved a piece of orange into his mouth. “Eat.”
He ate the orange and then continued, “That shitty cup’s starting price was priced at a hundred!”
And then, the auction hall fell into a deep silence.
The type of silence that meant Hamm was going to be cooked.
I had no choice but to raise my paddle. “Six pieces.”
“Fu——”
I shoved the orange that I’d prepared beforehand into his mouth.
No one bid against me for this jacket and everyone had on an expression that said ‘this thing is six euros? He really does not feel pained about spending money, as it’s Zhao Gongzi’s money’ while looking at me.
I’m pained, super pained.
That jacket that couldn’t even be worn out had cost us five hundred and six euros.
Zhao Gongzi is super annoying, without equal.
The author has something to say:
This novel has no main plot, it is just episodic, and updates will be sporadic -W-
every chapter will just be a sort of separate stand-alone episode
Rinrin: Poor Hamm （btw, it might be short for Hamlet, though I’m not 100% sure), living always with the threat of being cooked hanging over his head. Also, the feeding oranges scene is what was drawn for the title used on the novel page (an image from the audio drama, episode 3)
Akane: Ham…I mean Hamm’s life really is…cheap?…I mean hard.
how ugly is this damn windbreaker? lol
thanks for the chapter <3
Who is Wu Ge? I’m kind of lost here… Thanks for the chapter 😘
i’m really confused. so..who is the person yixin really loved?? he seems to love/like every decent man out there except zhao gongzi 😂😂😂
Oh my gosh!! I love this!! I really needed this to wash away the shitty day I had yesterday! Thank you author and translator!!!
This Zhao Long reminds me of Nian Junting. They complain too much, and behave like macho man. But inside they are very soft and loving and caring. I would take them over r*pist, abusive MLs anytime.